Chasing Love (Dark Love 1)

I saw this coming, of course. Most people’s reaction will be the same, but who are they to judge what the two of us have? I love him, that’s what matters. I don’t need to justify that, not to anyone. Funny, though, I have been putting off telling Mom and Dad, knowing their reaction will be exactly the same.

“C’mon, Nikki, you’ve met him. He’s a great guy.”

“Charlie, a great guy doesn’t mean you have to walk down the aisle with him. Just enjoy him… for now.”

“I love him,” I shoot back, defensively.

“I know, but is it enough?”

Her question rattles me. Eric sits wide-eyed at both of us like he’s watching some scene from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Nikki stands there, arms folded, tapping her foot. Her usual glare, which normally has no effect on me whatsoever, intimidates me at this moment.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Look, Charlie, all I’m saying is that yes, Julian is a fantastic guy, but don’t you think you’re rushing into this? It’s almost like it’s just to move on…”

Stilling my movements, my expression doesn’t waver as she trails off. I know her interrogation of my actions is fueled by my resistance to settle down with any man before Julian. My past is unknown to her and everyone else, apart from Finn. Every so often, during a drunken rant, I’d spill information about teenage years, but whenever I was pushed I’d shut down immediately.

It’s my past, therefore, it should remain exactly that, in the past.

I’m not the same Charlotte Mason, that naïve high school girl so willing to give her heart only to be chewed up and spit out like a raw piece of meat. Things have changed, people change. Settling down at my age is quite common and not something to be shocked over.

“Eric, can I have a word with Nikki in private?”

With a mixture of disgust and hurt on his face, he walks out the door but stops at my desk to grab a handful of M&Ms I keep in a large glass jar. As the door closes, I focus my attention back on Nikki. “You’re the first one to say how picky I am, that I never give any guy a chance. So here I am giving this wonderful guy a chance, and you have the nerve to tell me that I’m making a mistake?”

“No, I simply asked why the rush. Are you knocked-up or something?”

“No!” I blurt out.

“Then, I don’t understand.”

“You don’t need to understand. All you need to do is be my friend. I love him, he loves me. Time means nothing when you know it’s right.”

“And is it?”

This back-and-forth arguing is no different than when we go to court. Nikki is playing lawyer, and I’m standing trial. I hesitate, trying to find the right words which will be good enough for her,

so she will understand.

“You know what they say, ‘hesitation is a product of fear,’” she quotes.

“Or maybe I’m just trying to find the right words, so you’ll stop nagging me about this.”

Nikki’s arms fall limp as she sighs dejectedly, her shoulders slumping while she hangs her head and stares at the ground. After a moment of silence, she straightens her posture and meets my gaze. “Charlie, I’m not nagging. You’re my best friend. I only want the best for you. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be so judgmental. Now show me this damn ring. Oh, hang on a sec…” her lips curve upward into a sarcastic grin, “… do me a favor and open your door?”

I know without asking why she wants me to do that. Tiptoeing to my door, I open it quickly as a shocked Eric pummels to the floor with a paper cup.

As Nikki and I break into laughter, a somewhat disheveled Eric picks himself up, wiping his perfectly pressed outfit.

“Ladies, this is an Armani suit.”

“You need a glass, Eric, not a paper cup. Such a rookie mistake.”

***

I’m just about to leave my office to meet Julian for lunch when Eric barges in unnoticed, skipping to my table like a five-year-old girl. All he’s missing are the pigtails.

“Guess what? You’re so going to love me!” he squeals. “Thursday afternoon I have Carolina, a stylist, coming to your apartment.”