Chasing Love (Dark Love 1)

It no longer burns, unable to mask the pain of my careless actions last night.

No matter what I do or say, Charlotte isn’t willing to forgive me. I have to find a way to make her talk and listen. Still uncertain if she knows why I had no choice but to choose Samantha nine years ago, forgiveness will be forthcoming.

But if I’ve learned anything over the last forty-eight hours, Charlotte is headstrong with a vengeance.

This battle should’ve been a straight win, but I’m no longer dealing with the girl I left behind in high school.

Charlotte is all woman, and her shield is her most powerful weapon. It’s held so close to her heart it’s almost impossible to get back into a place where I once belonged.

ALEX

Nine Years Ago

It had been the day from hell.

I had just finished a fourteen-hour shift with Dad at the hospital where we lost a teenager to a drunk driving accident. It was the first time I had dealt with death, and no matter how much they prepared us for this during our studying, the reality was far more grueling.

My dad stood there calling the time of death as I ran to the toilet heaving, barely making it as I violently vomited—my body shuddering while collapsing to the floor.

How on earth would this get easier over time?

I started questioning myself if this was the right vocation for me. I’m not like my father—he’s strong, always in control. Six fucking years of my life dedicated to medical school. What the hell was I going to do? I couldn’t talk to Samantha about it. She just saw the status attached with calling me Doctor. Mom and Dad would never understand, and Adriana, well, she was too preoccupied with Elijah and immature at the best of times.

I peeled myself off the floor and washed my face before I headed outside.

“Son, are you okay?”

“Yeah. Sorry I ran out, Dad. It was just a lot to deal with.”

He placed his arm around my shoulder before walking me to the reception area. The nurse at the front desk looked at me sympathetically.

“It’s part of the job, Alex. It doesn’t always end in saving a life.”

“I know, but she was so young. Only seventeen, it’s not fair.” My voice began choking, and I knew I needed to get out of this miserable place.

“Life isn’t always fair, Alex. Remember that.”

With his last words, I walked through the sliding doors and into the cool night. It was a little after six when I arrived home. Samantha was in the living room reading some trashy magazine.

“Hey, honey, you look beat.”

“Yeah, pretty much the day from hell.”

Putting down the magazine, she motioned for me to sit next to her. I threw my bag on the ground and sat, ready to talk about today’s events.

“I went to see Dr. Housman today.”

“What the hell for?” I knew I sounded annoyed, but what the fuck was wrong with her? Dear God, she better not be knocked up. We used condoms, plus she was on the pill. “You’re still taking the pill, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I am, and no, I’m not pregnant. But nice to know you haven’t moved forward with that decision,” she barks, with her arms crossed. “Dr. Housman did some preliminarily tests, and she found that I wasn’t ovulating. I’ll need fertility pills should we decide to have kids.”

“Okay.” I breathed a sigh of relief, exhausted and not one bit interested in talking about starting a family. “So, we’ll deal with that when the time comes.”

“She said the younger I am, the better.”

“No, Samantha.” I raised my voice, fucking irritated that this was what she focused on. After the day I had, I thought she’d want to know what happened. Instead, she put the baby bullshit right on me. “We aren’t having children any time soon. End. Of. Discussion.”

I grabbed my bag and headed to our bedroom, sat on the bed and untied my shoelaces. Sliding my shoes off, I stood and undressed, desperate to get rid of my clothes.