Chasing Love (Dark Love 1)

“We’ll be there. Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” I smile.

As I try on both dresses, we agree the pink one is the one, although it’s a little tight of course, in the bust area.

“Char, you have a killer body. I’d die to have your boobs. They are so full.” She grabs my breasts catching me off guard, so I smack her hands away. “I’m guessing Lex doesn’t complain.”

“Haha, very funny.”

Adriana sits on the floor placing pins in the hem where she’ll alter the dress. I stand still, a little caught up in the moment. I wonder what it will be like to be standing one day being fitted for my own wedding dress. It will be lace, something simple yet classic. I’m not one for big weddings, just something intimate with close family and friends.

Shit! Why am I thinking about this again?

“Do you think that one day you will marry him?” she asks, hesitating slightly.

“I don’t know. You know I was never one of those chicks who dreamed of their wedding day since they were born like you.” I grin at her knowingly. “I didn’t think of the future, I only ever thought of that very moment. We were young… well, I was young. Eighteen was too young for me to consider marriage.”

“What about now?”

“Adriana, it’s complicated.”

“What’s so complicated? Break it off with Julian. Lex loves you… you love him. You’ve forgiven him. Time to move on and spend the rest of your life with each other and make beautiful babies that I can spoil rotten.”

The weight of her words bares heavy on my soul. It seems too surreal, having this conversation about marriage and babies with Lex. I try to hide my feelings, but the wave of panic rushes through me like a wild storm kickstarting my heart into overdrive.

“Char, are you okay?”

I kneel on the floor and place my hands over my face. The weight of the phoenix is swaying as I rock back and forth. The tears flow, and I beg myself to stop crying, not to break down anymore but the feelings are too forceful.

Adriana drops her sewing kit, holding onto me tight. There are no words, she doesn’t ask, and I don’t offer. She just holds me. In that moment, I realize how much I’ve missed and needed her, my best friend, to wash away my anxiety over this whole sorry ordeal.

“I’m so sorry, Adriana,” I choke as the tears trickle down my cheeks.

“Charlie, look at me.” I gaze into her eyes, praying she understands. Adriana knows me better than I know myself sometimes. “You need to open up. This demon you’re carrying, you need to set it free.”

“I thought I did. I was fine and had moved on, but then he came back into my life, and I’m a mess. I miss him so much, but I loathe him at the same time. I don’t want him to hurt me again.”

She holds onto me, quiet for what seems like forever until I manage to compose myself. Passing me a box of tissues, I clean up my face then she tucks my hair behind my ear and smiles.

“I don’t mean to push you. I’m sorry. But Charlie, you have to realize Lex knows the mistake he made, and it pains him every day that he put you through that. There’s nothing in the world he wouldn’t do for you, and hurting you again isn’t an option. He loves you way too much.”

“But Adriana—”

“Charlie, Lex was a stranger to our family after you left. He barely spoke to us, to anyone for that matter unless it was work-related. He shut himself off from the world. He caused my mother endless worry. Suddenly, you have brought him out whole again, and…” she chokes up, grabbing a tissue, “… I can’t thank you enough. We’ve missed him.”

“Your parents know about me?” I ask, shocked at the thought.

It might have been years ago, but I still feel guilty for how I treated them. They were so good people, treating me like their own, and I ruined their family.

“They saw a change in Lex the past few weeks and asked me what’s going on. I told them about you.”

“And?”

“Mom was happy. She alw

ays felt terrible for how she treated you on the street that day. Dad, well, he’s very hard to read… much like Lex sometimes.”

“Adriana, I don’t know if I’ve fully forgiven him. I’m reminded of the hurt when he’s near me. How do I even get past that?”

“You talk to him. You tell him exactly how you feel, exactly how you felt back then. You be one-hundred percent honest with him.”