Our bodies slow down, and the slower we go, the more I ache. My muscles tighten, I can barely move. He pulls himself out slowly, kissing my back as he does. Buttoning up his jeans, he leans over and fixes my dress.
Looking into his eyes, something passes between us. No one has fucked me like Lex, and no one has ever made me climax so hard I swear it’s like an out-of-body experience. We are having fun, and I don’t want to ruin it by all by mixing in this emotional bullshit.
As I steady myself, I take in my surroundings. The view is incredible. The ocean is dark, but the sounds of the waves crashing echo through the night.
“Wow, this is amazing. How did you know about this place?”
Lex grins. “Google Maps.”
“Oh, I thought this was your go-to-make-out-with-girls place,” I tease.
“It is now.”
He pulls me into an embrace, kissing me deeply. Afraid, I pull away, unaware if he notices or not.
Lex grabs my hand, walking me toward the edge where we take a seat, admiring the view
of the ocean and the lights in the distance. He sits behind me, pulling me in to keep me warm.
“Remember how I promised you on that prom night years ago how we’d watch the sunrise?”
“Yes,” I murmur, swallowing the pain caught in my throat.
“Let’s do that tonight. Let’s stay here and watch the sun rise.”
“Lex, I…”
I don’t know what to say, not ready for the emotional attachment. He’s pushing me, and I don’t like to be pushed. It frightens me, makes me feel weak, taking me back to that dark place again.
“Charlotte, don’t. Just let us have this moment.”
I sit there quietly, my mind flashing back to the big fight we had the week before prom.
“Prom, now that was a night to remember…” he trails off.
“I remember our big fight before it, too.”
“Charlotte. You know I never slept with Samantha while we were together, right? She told me when she confessed about the baby that I was so wasted that night, she did try, but it was impossible.”
“I know.”
Samantha and I had come to a truce and sort of became friends not that Lex would ever be happy with that. I know she wouldn’t lie about that, but again it boils down to trust. The fact that he stayed married, that he thought he may have slept with her, it was enough to break me, to break us.
“But you still don’t trust me?” he huffs, annoyed.
I stare out into the dark night, willing my feelings to come out.
“Lex, my life fell apart when you left. To hear these rumors that she was pregnant, to find out from Adriana that you had left town, and I couldn’t contact you. I had no closure. I was left picking up the pieces of what I thought was the greatest love of all time. I felt betrayed. I was the laughing stock of the town, and to have to confront my dad… he literally wanted to hunt you down and kill you.” My throat begins to close in, swallowing becoming increasingly hard as my heart rate picks up. “It took me so long to find my grounding, to build my life again, and to be able to trust anyone. It wasn’t just you I lost, there was also Adriana. She was my best friend for as long as I can remember. And Finn? You can hate him as much as you want, but he brought me back to life. He made me function as a human being again. Made me laugh for the first time, granted it was a funny situation, but he has always had my back and I love him like a brother. You may not have seen that side of him, but he always takes care of me. My poor grandmother glued me back together as complete as I could be. She taught me about life and moving on to achieve and have the ability to be able to dream and aspire again. I wouldn’t be sitting here with you if it weren’t for her. As for Julian, for the first time since you left me, he made me realize I could love again.”
“So, you still love him?” he interrupts me. Of course, he would.
“He made me smile again. Made me realize that I couldn’t go on waiting for a clone of you to walk back into my life. I know you hate him, and I know you want me to end all ties, but Lex, you need to give me time to decide this on my own. Do I trust him? Yes, I do because he hasn’t given me any reason not to. But you made me lose all trust in you, in us. You want me, Lex? Then give me time. Don’t push me because you might not like the answer.”
“And how do you think Mr. Trustworthy will handle knowing you have spent your weekend fucking me?”
“My relationship with Julian is just that, between the two of us. Okay, so yeah, it was my fault for this nothing’s off-limits thing, but well…” I search for a reason to justify my impulsive behavior. There’s no reason other than the fact that I am a horny little bitch who needs my fix.
“Yeah, I get it. The rabbit broke and you needed cock,” he answers, hurt.