“The best ones squirt when you eat them.” He slaps his hand on his thigh and lets out a huge roar of laughter which I can’t help but join in with.
“I don’t get it.” Tristan scratches his head.
“Go take a shower,” I tell him. “Perhaps Eric can give you a lesson on it another time.”
“Unfortunately, I’m more educated in that department than I should be. Rocky has an unhealthy obsession with them and isn’t afraid to send me links. Once I watched a squirting contest. I swear it was like the squirting Olympics!”
I’ve seen the exact video, but now isn’t the time to bring that up. “Give Tristan a break. It’s not that easy to get laid. I think he’s just trying to find his feet.”
“How is it not easy? I’ve seen women swarm around you. In fact, it used to drive Charlie insane. Although she’d never say so since she’s as stubborn as a mule.” He continues to ramble on, but I’m taken back and distracted by his comment about Charlie.
Her name. Her jealousy. No, don’t succumb.
There’s silence in the room. Fuck, think of something, anything!
Eric places his hand over his mouth like a five-year-old caught saying a swear word. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to bring up Charlie. I realize it might be a sore spot.”
Sore spot? More like an open wound with a bullet still sitting in it. “It’s fine. How is she doing, anyway?”
“I, um… do you really want to know?”
“It’s fine, Eric. She’s moved on… I get it.”
“But have you?”
I turn to look at him, and I know he’s trying to read me. I don’t answer. I can’t muster the courage to lie right now, so I don’t say anything at all.
Eric breaks the silence. “She’s doing well considering…”
“Considering what?”
What the fuck is wrong with her?
“Nothing alarming, considering she’s up the duff again. Her cravings are making me gag. Last night it was bread dipped in ice cream.” He does that fake dry heaving for a moment.
“Oh, well, yeah, that has to suck, right? My sister, Josie, was the same and look what she gave birth to.”
There’s more silence, and I’m gathering the feeling there is more to this than Eric cares to share.
“Am I missing something here, Eric?” I question.
His eyebrows perk up. “What are you talking about?”
“Charlie?”
Pursing his lips, he shakes his head. “No… that’s it.”
I decide to drop the conversation, not wanting him to conjure up thoughts in his head regarding my feelings toward her.
“So, what do you and Tristan do? I don’t get to speak to him much despite him living here.”
I’m on parental duty. Odd, I know. It isn’t that I don’t trust Eric, I just know there are some bad crowds in LA, and I don’t want Tristan near them. My sister will crucify me.
“Been showing him all the hot spots in LA. Taking him to the gym… I don’t know, just stuff us young ones do.”
I ask the question directly. “Look, is he using anything to bulk up?”
Eric laughs. “Tristan? O.M.G., no, he just enjoys the weights. So do I… well, not to do them, but there’s this trainer, Mitchell, and wow! You should see his pecs. First class. I could eat a five-course meal off them.”