“Nice? Are you talking about Scarlett Winters or my nanna?”
“I kissed Morgan,” I blurt out, unsure as to why.
“Oh…” Kate goes quiet for a long while. I assume her intoxicated state is delaying her thought process. “French kiss or Aussie kiss?”
“Excuse me? Aussie kiss? What the hell is that?”
“A few of the Australian guys that I bunked with when I was younger used to say it a lot. You know, a kiss down under,” she hints playfully.
I let out a laugh about how I’d desperately love to give her an Aussie kiss. In fact, now it’s all I can think about. Damn Kate.
“Thanks for the visual. I’m pretty much going to go home and jerk off to the thought of an Aussie kiss. Oh, wait…” I exaggerate, “… I can’t because I’m staying in a zoo.”
“Charlie would sooo kill you for saying that.”
“Nope, she calls it a zoo, and she’s the zoo master,” I joke.
With a huge sigh, I release my frustrations. “I really need my own place.”
“Sorry. Maybe you should surprise Morgan. Knock on her door with a bottle of champagne and a trench coat with nothing on underneath.”
“Firstly, I don’t know where she lives. Secondly, men don’t do that. Free-balling isn’t cool. At least free-balling under a trench coat.” I turn the conversation to a more serious tone. “Kate, what does this mean? I’ve never wanted to kiss a woman, but she pissed me off. I was so angry at her for one… flaking on me, and two… the fact that she lied about being Scarlett’s sister.”
“She’s Scarlett’s sister,” Kate exclaims. I nod, even though she can’t see me. “Okay, so here it is. You won’t like what I have to say. You only want her because she doesn’t want you. You’re always used to clicking your fingers and getting a woman in bed. She obviously has something going on, and you’re not that person. Let it go, and if she wants you, she’ll make it happen.”
“I don’t like that answer.”
“Of course, you don’t,” she roars. “Because it means you won’t get laid like right now. What about Scarlett?”
“She’s a movie star, Kate.”
“Uh-huh… just not Morgan, right?”
I let out a frustrated breath as Kate yells out loud, “You fucking wanker. Stop honking your horn, you goddamn knob.”
Pulling back to save my eardrum, I wait until her rant is over. It goes on for another minute or so, her profanities never cease to amaze me.
“Anyway, how are you doing?” I ask in an effort to be a good friend. “Lex mentioned how busy you’ve been.”
“Yes, apparently too busy to have any sort of life.”
“Look on the bright side?”
“Uh-huh, what is it?”
“I’m not sure,” I admit. “But isn’t it better to be single than in a fucked-up relationship?”
Kate laughs. “Bro, I need to get laid. This date I went on last night—”
“Wait,” I stop mid-step. “You didn’t tell me you were going on a date?”
I’m slightly annoyed she hadn’t mentioned anything to me, especially since it had to do with another man, and she practically tells me everything else. We speak almost every night. Sometimes via phone, and other times just text. The past few nights have been on and off with Kate being tied up at work.
“Yes, I did, the Irishman.”
“Um, no, you didn’t.”
“Are you sure?” she questions. “Well, I went on this date, and that’s the end of that story.”