Chasing Heartbreak (Dark Love 6)

On the ride back home, I think about calling Kate but know we both need time to process. I have to get my act together, and pushing her could be detrimental. She’s my best friend, someone I know very well. Right now, she’s trying to ignore everything I said because she hates relinquishing control. She’s the female Lex, which is why she holds such a powerful position, and nobody messes with her.

But I also know she’s incredibly lonely in Paris, despite her reluctance to admit it. And anything romantic is a trigger for her. She’s been scarred multiple times, and when it comes to matters of the heart, the wall she’s purposely built around her will stand tall, ready for any attack.

I don’t want her to lose again. Not now, not ever.

Because as much as I beg myself not to admit it, throwing the thought into a dungeon with no key or chance of escape, I’m falling in love with her.

Again.

Or maybe, I never stopped loving her.

KATE

If you stare at the ceiling long enough, your imagination can visualize anything.

I see a beach, waves crashing against the shore with a beautiful sunset setting on the horizon. Then a sprawling countryside, lusciously green, accompanied by the sounds of crickets and other insects basking in the sunlight.

Then my mind switches to chaos—a circle full of animals, loud noises, claps, and cheering with boisterous music and the roar of a lion. More bright colors, fire, complete and utter nonsense.

I haven’t slept.

Turning to my side with my head resting on my hands, the sun begins to rise outside my bedroom window, and just like that, morning is upon us.

My phone call to Noah last night was more than just a phone call to make sure he was okay. It changed everything between us.

Or maybe, just maybe, I’ve been blind to see it wasn’t just that phone call. It has been a series of events leading to that moment.

I hung up out of fear, pushing him away because I don’t know how to handle my emotions. The lack of control in my life is something I struggle with. I’ve never had to factor in anyone else besides myself, and I know myself pretty well. Therefore, life has become somewhat easy to navigate through.

But then he said it should’ve been me.

I tried to picture it, the two of us together four years ago. No matter how I twisted it in my mind, it didn’t fit. We were the best of friends, but being lovers is something I can’t envision. The more I dwell on it, the more I believe he was just hurting, and me being back in his life confused his feelings.

I fell asleep to the sound of traffic, only to wake up a few hours later to the obnoxious toot of a horn. I’ve missed my Saturday yoga class and bypassed my early-morning stroll to the café for coffee and breakfast. Everything is out of whack, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t get him out of my mind.

Spending my Saturday inside the office was my only ticket out of this mess. With my head buried in a forecasting spreadsheet after firing off a dozen emails warning my workers to get their shit together and stop making errors, the sound of my phone startles me.

“Working on a Saturday?” Lex greets, sounding relaxed. “The model employee.”

“I needed to clear my head.”

“I see,” he simply says. “I’ve read your emails, quite the aggressive tone today, Miss Hamilton. Is everything okay?”

Although Lex is technically my boss, our friendship is what makes our union strong. I respect his opinion, given his ability to remove emotion from a situation and think rationally.

“Lex, can I ask you something?”

> “You know you can ask me anything.”

“It’s about Noah.”

“I figured as much.”

“Wait, you did?”

“If I’m brutally honest, yes.”

I fall silent, unsure how to ask the question on the tip of my tongue. “How much do you know?”