“I’m sorry, I have to take this.”
He grazes my arm before grabbing his phone and answering, giving me time to gather my thoughts and regroup.
“Is everything okay?” he answers, worried, the tone in his voice panicked. “Shit. How high? Okay, just stay calm and call 911 now. I’ll try to get there soon. If I drive, it’ll take me hours. I’ll see if I get a flight, okay? Bye.”
“What’s wrong, Noah?”
His face has drained, pacing the area in front of him in a daze. “It was Olivia. Nash has a fever, and he’s stopped drinking, plus he’s really restless. I don’t know…”
I take a deep breath and stop him, clutching onto both his arms. “Look at me. You can do this. She needs you to be strong right now. Imagine how terrified she must be with him. Go get changed, pack a bag, and I’ll get the car ready and organize you a flight.”
“But work, and shit, I have to pick up Jessa for the party on Sunday.”
“I’ll get Charlie to sort it out, okay? Now go pack.”
He disappears into the room while I pull up the airlines and find the next flight to San Francisco. After booking a flight which leaves in ninety minutes, I quickly call Charlie and explain what’s happened.
“Oh my gosh. No, leave Jessa with me. I’ll text Morgan now. Does Noah need anything? I’m worried about him.”
“He’s freaked out, of course, but I’ll get him to the airport.”
“Thank you, Kate. Call me when you’re done, okay?”
I hang up the phone just as Noah walks out of the room in a pair of jeans, hoodie, and a duffel bag. We climb into Charlie’s car and race down Pacific Coast Highway at a reasonably safe speed.
“I can’t do this,” he almost chokes when the airport appears in front of us. “What if we lose him? He’s only ten weeks old.”
“You’ll do this, you know why? You have no choice. This little boy needs you. His existence isn’t a mistake.”
“You’re the first person to say that.”
“Say what?”
“That this isn’t a mistake.”
“A child should never be a mistake.” I rest my hand on his thigh to reassure him. “Sure, perhaps the timing wasn’t great, but this is what life handed you. You’re a great dad to Jessa and have so much love to give to Nash even though he may not be close by.”
The departure terminal is straight ahead and surprisingly quiet. With the car at a complete standstill, we both sit in silence until I find the courage to say what needs to be said, knowing what he should hear right now to give him strength.
“I’m here, Noah. Right beside you when you need me. You’re not alone.”
His eyes turn down, avoiding my gaze. Just one look at him, and I know he’s terrified. Noah loves his daughter, and being a father is the most crucial role in his life. Now, he’s faced with the unknown, of being a father to another child under different circumstances. I can see him fall into the dark place Charlie warned me about, my heart bleeding along with this. No matter the mistakes we make, we have to forgive ourselves in order to find true happiness.
Opening the door, he steps out of the car but then leans his head through the window.
“Wait for me, please.”
I simply nod, though not understanding if he means now or forever.
But either way, he needs me.
I don’t want to lose him, and I’ll stand by his side as the friend he so desperately needs because I refuse to let him fall.
As for my own heart, I just need to let the chips fall where they may.
NOAH
It was the moment every parent dreads—a spiked fever prompting a panicked call to the paramedics and a dash to the ER.