The concierge escorts me to the private area which looks out onto the harbor. I thank him, offering a tip, which he kindly refuses. Gosh, what a swell fella.
From where I stand, the view is breathtaking. The venue is called the Palais, located in an amusement venue called Luna Park. The small seaside park reminds me of Coney Island—a rollercoaster overlooking the water, various rides including a Ferris wheel. Across the harbor is the iconic Sydney Opera House, and sitting high and mighty is the Sydney Harbour Bridge.
All of which, an experience I never thought possible.
I have an awful habit of crossing my fingers whenever I’m nervous, childish as it may be, and right now, nervous is be a huge understatement. Behind these doors lies a feeling which frightens me. A feeling I’ve desperately tried to push aside because the moment I allow the thought to linger, the guilt will eat me alive.
I turn the corner, my heart hammering in my chest. My airways close in, and I think I’m going to run out of air until I see him, standing by himself staring out into the harbor.
He is perfectly still, dressed in his black suit, hair styled to perfection from the angle where I stand. Deep and lost in thought, he makes no move and fails to notice my presence.
Still thinking about my opening line, I watch him pull his cell out of his suit pocket, frantically typing away. The vibration in my clutch makes me smile. I thank the Lord I have my cell on silent.
Julian: Did you know the Ovation of the Seas is the largest boat ever to enter Sydney Harbour?
I want to burst out laughing at his text. As much as I tell him that his random facts serve no purpose, I love these texts purely because I never know what to say and guess what, the majority of the time I have no idea and actually learn something new. He is like a walking encyclopedia. I quickly think of a witty response.
Me: You’d be surprised with how educated I am in boat trivia. Did you know Dionne Warwick sung the theme song to Love Boat for the final season?
He reads the text, and I see his shoulders move up and down as he quietly laughs to himself.
Julian: Now that you’ve mentioned it, it’s stuck in my head. If I sing it out loud at the party, I think they’ll ship me back to the States. I guess it’ll distract me from this extremely uncomfortable suit I’m wearing.
It’s now or never, no turning back, especially when I flew fourteen hours to get here. I have to grow some lady balls, that’s all there is to it.
Me: Stop complaining like a girl, you look very handsome if I say so myself.
As he reads the text, his body stiffens, and even from behind, I can see his chest rising and falling. He tilts his head slightly, allowing me to catch a glimpse of his profile. His eyes are closed, and with bated breath, I wait anxiously for him to notice I’m standing right behind him.
Like a flick of a switch, his eyes open, and his body turns to face me.
My heart is now in overdrive, beating wildly as the smile widens across his perfectly chiseled jaw.
“Adriana,” he says, barely a whisper.
My body moves toward him, my knees threatening to buckle. Only an arm’s reach apart, I stop before him.
“You said you needed a plus one. It was either Penny or me, and trust me, it wasn’t that easy to convince Penny to stay home.”
He places his hands in his pockets almost like he is trying to stop himself from physically reaching out to me. It’s the small gestures like this making me want him even more. He understands me, has seen me at my worst, accepts me for who I am, and who I’ll forever be bonded to.
Julian walks over to the table by the window and pulls a flower out of the large vase. Walking back toward me, he grabs my wrist and ties the stem into a knot, making a corsage.
“Thank you, plus one.”
It could’ve been my heart thumping so loud or the blood pumping in my veins making me want to do the unexpected. The one thing I knew would change everything about who I was and what we were—I jump on my tiptoes placing my arms around his neck, embracing him tightly.
At first, he is still, then his body relaxes, and he moves his arms around my back and squeezes me tight.
Everything about this feels right, yet everything about it is so wrong.
How can I fall in love with a man who once hated my brother and loved my best friend?
Worse yet, how could I fall in love again?
And just like that, the pang of guilt hits me as the tears I try to hold in fall freely onto Julian’s shoulder. Struggling to remain quiet, he’s quick to sense my change in mood and pulls away. I hear the lift of his arm as he cups my chin and raises my face to meet his. The stare in his eyes eases my fear, the deep brown eyes watching me.
“We can take this as slow as you feel comfortable,” he murmurs, never leaving my gaze. “Don’t be scared.”