Chasing Him (Dark Love 4)

“I bet yours are good, too.”

“No, I’ve been told I pull a Monica in that area. You know, hard and tough.”

He chuckles softly. “I love Friends. Some people like it hard.”

I shake my head and let it fall, embarrassed by my comment. “I walked into that one, didn’t I? Elijah hated Friends, but he was polite enough to keep his mouth shut.”

“You don’t talk enough about Elijah.” His tone is serious and catches me off-guard.

“I assume you don’t like it… you know, since things have picked up a little between us.”

“Why? I can’t be jealous of someone who isn’t here. And besides, he was a great guy. Despite the situation with Lex, he still made the effort to talk to me.”

“He did, didn’t he?” I wonder out loud. “Can I ask you something?”

“Since when does Adriana Evans ask permission?”

“Okay, maybe not one thing. It’s about Charlie.” I bite my lip, waiting for his reaction.

With my back toward him, the silence falls between us as he pulls his hands away from my shoulders. I turn to face him, met with a disgruntled expression as he eyes stare blankly into the harbor.

“Adriana, why do you always have to dig up the past?” His tone is bitter, almost spitting out the words.

“Because I don’t feel like we’ve really talked about it enough.”

“Why do you need to know? Why can’t you let it go? God knows I’m trying my best.”

“Because this is hard. Every time we get closer, I think, how is this going to work?” I answer honestly.

“You don’t think I think that, too?”

“Well, I don’t know. You never really express your feelings. You do that annoying guy thing.” I raise my hands in frustration, annoyed at him for not wanting to talk, annoyed at myself more for causing this friction between us.

“Then ask me whatever the hell it is you need to know, then the subject is officially buried, okay?”

It’s my chance to ask the questions that have been bugging me, the questions which can ease my fears or increase my paranoia. Either way, I’m screwed. I know myself well enough to know I get worked up and jealous over the smallest of things.

“Did you know Charlie and Lex were an item behind your back?”

I watch him intently as he presses his lips together, continuing to stare into the harbor and refusing to make eye contact with me. His shoulders are tense, and the muscles in his arms are protruding from beneath his shirt as he grips onto the bench.

“Yes, I knew.”

“Why didn’t you confront her?”

“I did. She denied it.”

“And you bought it?” I almost laugh but am quick to hold back, not wanting to bruise his ego any further.

“Adriana, does it matter? It’s done.” The malice in his voice stuns me. I retreat by pulling my legs into my chest. He glances my way, and I see his face soften. “Of course, I didn’t buy it. She was always distracted. We stopped having sex, and she had an excuse for everything. It’s what started my coke addiction again.”

I feel lousy for asking the question, especially when I’m Charlie’s friend, practically cheering on her infidelity all because I wanted her with Lex. I wouldn’t have done anything differently, but I hate the fact that I played a part in hurting Julian.

“If it weren’t for my brother coming back into her life, you would still be with her, probably married and with babies.”

“What kind of a question is that?” he asks, annoyed. “It’s like me saying to you if Elijah didn’t die, you would still be with him.”

“I just—” I stumble on my words. “Never mind.”