Chasing Him (Dark Love 4)

I take a deep breath, the nausea creeping in. Like the painting he gave me when he proposed. Okay, seriously, it could be a coincidence… but the apples. The apple picking. Julian has gone apple-picking with me. Had he seen that?

“I see blue eyes and a child. He talks to this child. The child understands him.”

My eyes dart to Lex in panic. Did Andy hear Elijah’s voice? Why doesn’t he talk to me? Why don’t I hear his voice? Charlie pulls away from Lex, motioning for him to sit beside me. He does, and grabs my hand, lacing his fingers into mine. I look up at him on the verge of tears.

“He tries to talk to you, but you don’t listen,” Clarice continues. “You’re conflicted. You feel pain, but you also feel love.”

A lump forms in my throat, panicking that the double life I’m living will be exposed, and Elijah will hurt and be disappointed by my behavior. My sweaty palms sit inside Lex’s, but he doesn’t seem to care, squeezing them tighter, reassuring me everything will be okay.

“You’re confused, and the intensity is something you’ve never experienced.”

Lex stares at me, confused.

“He is a flame, and you are drawn to him.”

Tristan is wide-eyed and watching Lex’s expression. Eric’s mouth has dropped. Charlie is watching me curiously as her tears have subsided. My heart is racing a million miles a minute, a panic attack imminent.

“What does that mean?” I ask in desperation.

“It means there’s always a calm before the storm. Right now, you’re experiencing the calm.” She must sense the storm is sitting in this very room, right beside me.

I swallow the lump in my throat which continues to linger, my chest rising and falling heavily as my breaths are few and shallow. I know he sits beside me, but I ask the burning question anyway. “Will it end well?”

“Let your heart decide. There’s room to love again. This man, he is trying to tell you that.”

There are voices in the background, yet I hear nothing. Lost in a whirlwind of emotions, I find my strength disabled, and my weakness overtaking. The feeling is familiar, and it’s all part of that grieving process which still haunts me. The only thing is—being with Julian distracts me. It’s almost like he protects me, but here comes Elijah, talking to me through a psychic, begging me to listen to him.

And part of me knows I’m not listening because I am scared he will tell me that Julian is a big mistake.

How dare I replace him.

I’m so lost in my thoughts, and before I know it, Clarice has left the apartment, and I’ve missed Eric’s turn. I am sure he will re-tell the story a million times, so I make an excuse about being tired so we can leave.

In the car, we all stay quiet.

The night has set, and darkness has fallen on us.

Charlie turns around to look at me. “You okay, Adriana?”

“Yeah,” I croak.

Charlie glances at Lex, then turns to face me. “You know if there’s someone that you, um… are seeing… you shouldn’t be afraid to tell us.”

I exhale. “Sure.”

Her face tells me she’s hurt, and I’d be too if someone brushed me off like that. We‘ve been best friends for such a long time, and I hate hiding this from her. But I have no choice.

“So, anyway, you want to stop at the drugstore now to pick up your bulk lot of condoms?” Charlie asks Lex.

“You don’t believe that bullshit, do you?” Lex complains, shaking his head, disagreeing. “No old lady is going to predict and rule my sex life.”

“Do you want to have another baby right now?”

“No. We’ll just continue doing what we do,” he states confidently. “C’mon, Charlotte, I can’t wear that shit.”

Am I seriously hearing this? I feel I have no choice but to intervene. “Oh my God, please shut up! Lex, get over it. It’s just a fucking condom.”

He lets out a loud groan. “It feels disgusting, okay? No man wants their dick to be covered in plastic while fucking their wife.”