Chasing Him (Dark Love 4)

“I hear you. Plus, I’ve got a boyfriend to go play with.”

“Oh, yes, you do. A great one at that,” she adds.

I stare up at the ceiling. It’s pitch black. Even at this godfor

saken hour, I’m wide awake. All right, I blame the coffee.

“Charlie, if Lex didn’t walk back into your life, do you think you and Julian would’ve worked out?”

She keeps quiet, and I suspect she may have fallen asleep until the blanket shuffles.

“The way I felt about him back then, I’d say yes.” She pauses, then continues, but this time her voice is timid, “He was perfect. He just wasn’t Lex.”

I nod, even though she can’t see me. Charlie and Lex always have this unbreakable bond, and even after how awful Lex treated her tonight, I can tell she misses him and wants to go home.

“Maybe you should go home to your husband.”

“I probably should but let him sulk a bit longer. No need to stroke his ego and run back to him like a pussy-whipped wife.”

“Err… shouldn’t it be dick-whipped wife?”

“Oh, right.” She laughs followed by a yawn. “Well, I ain’t dick-whipped… okay maybe just a little, but if you saw—”

I grab my pillow and muffle her face, and she squirms to break free. “Don’t go there, Charlie… and I mean seriously, if you go there, I’ll tell you about the time your stepmom, Debbie, told me about what your dad likes to wear in the bedroom.”

“Oh, hell no!”

“Good night, Charlie.”

She mumbles good night, and within a few moments, her tiny breaths are the only sound I hear.

Me, I’m wide awake, listening for Elijah.

Nothing.

Closing my eyes, I try to relive my memories of Elijah, just like Charlie did with Lex—back to high school, the first time we met at the football field. Yet every time I try to focus on his face, it’s just a blur. The memories which haunt me are unpleasant—his sick face, his weak frame, and the worst one of all, his barren expression before he passed on. I place all my effort into forgetting these memories, and what makes it hard is that it stops me from living the life he wants me to live.

Move on, he said.

He made it seem like such an easy task.

It’s a broken scene, and as much as I try to reminisce, all I can see is Julian’s face.

***

It was just before ten when Charlie and I woke up. Already showered, I throw on a pair of yoga pants and my favorite retro tank with a Guns ‘n Roses logo on it. My hair has grown, so I pull it up into a ponytail and slip into my sneakers. I figure today’s a new day, and I should start my workout regime. That is until I find some leftover Dunkin Donuts in the kitchen.

Maybe tomorrow.

The doorbell rings just as I’m about to grab a second donut. With Charlie in the shower, I am assuming Lex is ready to use his manners and apologize for his bitch-fit last night. I open the door to be met with Julian standing on the porch. Oh crap. My body has mentally thrown itself at him, smothering him until he can’t breathe, but in reality, I’m standing here not moving a single limb.

“Can I come inside, or would you like me to go make friends with the lady across the street?”

That nosy Mrs. Randle from across the street is peeking through her lace curtains. It isn’t like I have men here, but then again, between Lex, Eric, Tristan, and Rocky, perhaps her twisted mind will think I run a burlesque house.

I motion for him to come in. “Charlie is still here. Is that okay?”

He nods and smiles reassuringly. Maybe I’m more nervous than him.