Chasing Him (Dark Love 4)

“I don’t give a shit. She chose me, you got it?”

I intervene, pushing onto Julian’s chest. “Don’t do this,” I beg of him.

Julian pushes my hands away from his chest, creating a distance between us. “You always push me, asking me about Charlie… am I thinking about her, do I love her? It’s all in your imagination, Adriana.” He releases a drunken laugh. “So, no, it’s always been about you, but now that you’re bringing it up, I did love Charlie, I wanted to marry her a long time ago, and wait for it, Edwards, this one’s for you. I stopped thinking about how much Charlie loved to be fucked, but always nice to take a walk down memory lane since that’s what you supposedly want.”

Both Rocky and an onlooker try to hold back Lex all the while as I stand there gobsmacked at Julian’s hurtful words. Julian turns to face me, out of breath, eyes wild with rage and hurt as he says the words I’ve dreaded all along. “I’m done. I can’t do this, Adriana, it’s too hard.” He shakes his head, defeated. “I love you, but you’ll always choose your brother over me, and I refuse to go on always being someone’s second place. Even I know I don’t deserve that.”

My voice croaks, and I try to speak to no avail.

With a second attempt, I finally sync my mind and voice. “Julian, don’t do this. Please, I didn’t mean the things I said.”

His eyes have settled, and his brown pupils stare deep into mine, piercing my soul with pain, knowing that the damage is done, and I’m losing the one person who means more to me than anyone else.

The man I love.

Tell him you love him… now.

I want to tell him, but he beats me to the punch. “You doubted me, and I never thought you would do that. It’s over, okay?”

Crushed, he walks away, Tristan running after him.

Dazed and confused, arms wrap around me in comfort, and the moment I realize they belong to Charlie, I stiffen. “Don’t touch me,” I warn her.

“Adriana, but I—”

I turn to look at her, and with mixed emotions, I lash out as the force of humility hits me so hard I’m seeing nothing but darkness.

“It’s always about you, Charlie. He was moving on, but you come here dressed like a slut, and what do you do? Drive my boyfriend away from me.”

Lex moves toward me. “Apologize for calling her that.”

“I won’t apologize for anything,” I scream back at all of them.

I leave, running as fast as I can through the gardens and onto the driveway. My heart is beating erratically, and my breaths are far and few between. In the complete still of darkness, I’m finally alone but stumble on the stone driveway. I fall to the ground amongst the gravel, my hand scraping along the jagged edges.

There is pain.

But I am numb.

The only pain I feel is that Julian walked away.

He has given up on us.

Again, someone has given up on me.

There’s something to be said about a broken heart—it’s not only your heart that breaks, it’s all of you.

Mind, body, and soul.

Alone, I fall into the trap of darkness, silenced by the pain which feels oh so familiar. My heart

may have been broken and scarred, but now, the wounds are open, and I’m bleeding.

I see nothing.

I want nothing.

It’s cold and lonely, with no warmth or light to guide me.