After me, my Uncle Pete takes the microphone which ends up in a drunken rant about his ex-wives and how marriage isn’t for everyone. There’s a mention about his time in jail, long-lost friends who never paid him money they owed. It’s classic Uncle Pete.
I have to clap to that. It isn’t a wedding without a family member making a fool out of themselves.
The MC requests the bride and groom take to the dance floor for their first official dance. Apparently, we have to dance with our allocated partner for the day. Blondie, as I call her because I can’t remember her name, grabs my hand much to my dismay and leads me onto the dance floor.
They play Endless Love, fucking corny as hell, and blondie is rambling on about how she’s single and literally ready to mingle.
So basically, she is down to fuck.
Too bad I don’t fucking give a shit, counting down the minutes until the song ends. The MC announces other couples to join us.
“Excuse me, I’m going to go dance with my wife.”
“Oh,” she mouths. “You’re married?”
“Yes, sweetheart, but you knew that. Your type loves to get off on fucking married guys.”
Her face drops, a mixture of anger and humiliation. She stomps off in a huff as I walk toward where Presley sits.
“Hi, Mom.” I lean in to kiss my mom on the cheek, then shake David’s hand.
“Haden, honey, how much have you had to drink?”
“Not enough to make this go quicker,” I mumble. “Mom, will you excuse me as I’d like to dance with my wife?”
I extend my hand as Presley lovingly smiles while placing her hand in mine. The platinum band sits on her finger, a symbol of this bond we share. Fuck, I can feel myself getting sentimental. Stupid weddings.
On the dance floor, I lace my arms around her waist as she wraps hers around my neck. She smells fantastic, this floral fragrance only reminds me of her.
“So, the blonde is nice,” she casually mentions, eyeing her from the dance floor.
“You want me to hook you up with her? She’s single and ready to mingle, apparently.”
Presley shakes her head, knowingly. “Why am I not surprised you know that?”
“I can’t control other people’s actions around me, trust me.”
“You’re like some sex-god magnet. Everywhere I turn, women are throwing themselves at you,” she vents in annoyance. “It’s gotten even worse since we were married. The wedding ring is almost like a challenge they want to conquer.”
“Well,” I say, staring deep into her eyes. “Lucky, I only have eyes for you. And besides, I am not the only one fighting off the beasts.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I prefer not to repeat what was said about you. My jealously can only stem so far.”
Presley purses her lips. “Right, so that explains your killer look earlier. Harry isn’t subtle with his flirtatious winks.”
“Don’t tell me he—”
“Hey.” She places her hands on my cheeks, instantly relaxing me. “This conversation isn’t worth the time and effort. I want you. I’ve always wanted only you.”
Running her hands along the collar of my shirt, she presses it firmly on my chest. “And since we’re child-free tonight, I’m ready for you to fuck me every which way you please… and you can do it without the raincoat.”
I fucking love my wife.
Her words are like dynamite, my pants stiffening against her body. Fuck, we need to get out of here now. Screw this wedding.
“We need to leave like now,” I demand.