“Nothing. I’m having dinner with a friend. That’s it.”
“Okay, but we need some sort of code in case you want to come back and get laid.”
“It’s not like that. I’m going. Please call me if Masen won’t settle,” I gently remind her.
She simply smiles, and I also kiss her on the forehead before heading out to my dinner date with Jason.
Sitting close to Jason makes me realize how much I’ve missed him. Everything about him is so familiar and comfortable. Everything about him is drama-free.
He takes a sip of his red wine, and I can’t help but stare at him. He has aged just a bit, and his hair is now a salt and pepper color that reflects his maturity. His eyes still do that thing to me, calming the storm brewing in my head. With his hands resting on the edge of the table, I remember how many times I’ve kissed his fingertips, how many times his fingers have trailed my body—all the things I haven’t experienced with the Jerk.
“So, tell me, how did this happen?” he asks.
I swirl the glass of wine, taking small sips so as not to get too intoxicated. I cleverly pumped enough milk to last a lifetime, so I know I can have a glass and express my alcohol-infused milk down the drain. I start from the beginning, leaving out the whole ‘it happened in the alleyway’ part. No need for graphic details.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Honestly? At the time, I was ashamed. I was so careless. You know me, I’m one to stick to a plan. This was a shock to me. I had no choice but to accept the reality of the situation.”
“And now?”
“It’s the best thing that ever happened to me. Masen is my life,” I answer honestly, smiling at him.
Behind the glass he is holding to his lips, he hides his sly smile.
“Why are you smiling that way?”
He takes another drink and motions for the waiter to bring him another. “Because motherhood suits you.”
“I seem to be hearing that a lot.”
“So, you’re not with the guy… Henry…”
“Haden,” I correct him.
“Whatever.”
“No, Haden is engaged, and it’s really complicated.”
I desperately want to tell him the full story, but I’m scared he will convince me never to speak to the Jerk again. It’s not such a bad idea after what happened with Eloise, but it’s not just about my feelings anymore. It’s about Masen and what he deserves.
“Well, he sounds like a jerk.”
I laugh, shaking my head. “Yeah, what can you do?”
“You find yourself a real man, Pres. A man who’s willing to giv
e you everything.” His eyes twinkle as they stare directly into mine. Moving his hand toward my side of the table, he plays with the ring sitting on my middle finger. My chest is pumping, but it’s not all because of this intimate moment. It’s the guilt I feel for sitting here with Jason when my heart belongs elsewhere.
And I hate admitting that.
The food arrives, and we eat in silence. My appetite is nonexistent, and with each bite, I’m swallowing a tablespoon of guilt.
“What did we do, Pres? We had it all, you know?”
“Did we, Jase? We were happy, but I don’t know… it’s like we got cold feet way too early.”
“This could have been us. We could have had a child together,” he says in a low voice.