He smiles softly and raises his hand to stroke my cheek. “I would never do that to you.”
My eyes dart to his, and he is seemingly unaware of the words he just spoke.
“Don’t you mean Eloise?”
His grin disappears and suddenly he looks agitated. “Yes, I meant Eloise.”
Silence falls between us, and when no more words are left to be said, I realize my feelings need a massive reality check.
A fucking astronomical reality check.
“So, I better be going. I’ll see you tomorrow at work.”
Standing up, he heads towards the door and I follow. He turns to look at me one more time, but this time his eyes are heavily fixated on my lips. With my chest pounding hard, I pray my face isn’t flushed, showing how aroused I am and how much I want him to stay.
Bad, bad kitty!
“So I guess it’s goodbye . . .” he speaks barely above a breath, unable to pull his focus away from my lips.
Biting the corner of my mouth, I struggle to keep my hands by my side, itching to reach out and caress his face one more time. Finally, I return his smile, and just like that, he turns away and walks to the elevator. Urgently, I call the name my heart can no longer hold in.
“Haden?”
He turns back around, standing still in his perfect pose as my body aches for his beauty. His posture stands tall, showing off his masculine presence. His eyes are bewitching, and behind his frames, his beautiful, light brown eyes are capturing me, not wanting me to let go. But I have to . . . because he doesn’t belong to me.
“You’re going to make a great dad.”
His beautiful face beams instantly. “Thank you. It’s exactly what I needed to hear.”
Walking away, I shut the door and run for my room. Lying on my bed, I raise my fingertips and run them along my sensitive lips as I close my eyes. Every sensation, every feeling of what happened only minutes ago is engrained in my memory. It’s all too much and my heart can’t take it, terrified of the one thing I promised myself I would never do.
I am falling in love with the Jerk.
Chapter Nineteen
The night Haden left my apartment, things changed in my head. I couldn’t get over the kiss we shared, and while his intention was to get it over and done with and pass that awkward tension between us, it had the exact opposite effect on me.
I could not stop thinking about him.
I could not stop thinking about that kiss.
As much as I tried to talk myself into thinking it was the pregnancy, deep down it was gnawing at me. You know, that moment when you look at someone in a different light and all of a sudden you think to yourself, ‘Holy shit, but that person’s been in front of me all along.’ It reminded me of my teenage years, watching Dawson’s Creek. Nobody had a crush on Pacey, then all of a sudden Dawson became an afterthought and Pacey was the guy that everyone crushed on.
Geez, you know you have loose marbles in your head when you’re comparing your adult life to Dawson’s Creek.
As the weeks went on, we seemed to get along better, never mentioning what happened between us. He was busy wrapping up parts of Fallen Baby before heading over to L.A., and I was busy trying to get as much done as I possibly could and hand over any ongoing projects to Dee.
I had to admit, we got along much better since she started dating this sugar daddy. Not to mention, she was totally covered in bling.
True to form, I made a list of all the things I needed for the baby. After researching baby sites and emailing Lex’s wife Charlie back and forth, I had a pretty good idea of everything I needed. She was extremely helpful, nice, and went out of her way to send me some stuff she hadn’t used. Just extra bits and pieces still new in their packaging. We talked long and hard about the need to attend Lamaze classes. Given that I was trying to limit my contact outside of work with Haden, I settled for a small intimate class for mothers without partners. It was refreshing to be surrounded by women in the same situation, even though the majority of them had chosen to be inseminated by an anonymous sperm donor.
The day Haden is scheduled to fly out to L.A., I have officially hit thirty-one weeks. Now I am really a beached whale, uncomfortable everywhere, and the worst part is . . . I still have nine weeks to go.
“Don’t go having that baby while I’m gone.” He chuckles.
“I’ll stay away from the spicy food,” I joke.
“And sex,” he adds with sarcasm.