y has her foot in my ass right now.
“I also got that job so if things don’t work out, I still can stand on my own.”
I sit quietly and process her news. No matter which way I turn, Morgan will be in my life. Mom and Max dating will no doubt make it difficult to avoid her. There’s no escaping her.
“Mom.” I keep my voice low. “What do you know about autism?”
She pulls a bottle of bourbon out of her kitchen cupboard, pouring us a glass. We clink our glasses together then let out a rasp at the same time. It’s something we occasionally did when life kicks our butts.
“My friend Sandra has an autistic son. I don’t see her that often anymore but when he was younger we used to meet for lunch. He was high functioning, it meant that he could do what most kids could do but had challenges in certain areas.”
“Like?” I ask, feeding off her knowledge.
“He was a whiz at the computer. Really smart and somewhat obsessed with being on it. When Sandra got a new job, he couldn’t cope with the change. Her being gone at night. It was difficult for them because she needed the money.”
“I don’t understand why she just wouldn’t stick it out? A kid is a kid. Of course, they’ll complain.”
“It’s not the same,” Mom informs me. “He had difficulties communicating and it resulted in a very tough time for her family. Noah, maybe you should spend some time researching this. I may not be the best person to ask.”
I don’t answer her. It stresses me out to even think about it. Morgan doesn’t come alone, she comes with a husband and a son who has special needs. It’s too complicated. I want to go back to my old life when I didn’t worry about anyone else but myself. Before I fell in love with her.
“Mom, there’s something I need to do.”
I stand up and grab my wallet and keys. I move to where she’s sitting and kiss the top of her head. I hate to admit it, but I’m glad she’s moving to the West Coast.
***
The drive isn’t long but gives me enough time to think carefully about my next move.
I park the car and walk toward the house. The lawn is overgrown with garden beds requiring a good weeding. The porchlight is broken but it doesn’t matter since the Christmas lights are still up. I keep the smile to myself—the same lights have been up for the past five years. Tom had a Clark Griswold moment and since then he’s left them up because he can’t be bothered removing them.
The porch wraps around the house, and I can hear their voices while making my way around the back. Benny and Rose are sitting on a sun chair, his arms casually wrapped around her. Tom is leaning against the pole, laughing along with them. They turn and watch me approaching. Benny immediately looks straight into my eyes, keeping his expression rather still. Rose offers me a warm smile—nothing sexual. Just a friendly welcome-back type of grin.
“Well, look what the cat dragged back,” Tom says, folding his arms with a pensive gaze.
I keep my distance, just in case Benny’s ready to take me out again. I probably shouldn’t have worn my favorite jersey and shorts.
“Can I talk to you guys, please?”
Rose stands up to leave. I place my palm forward, motioning for her to stay.
“I don’t even know where to begin. I know I fucked up, there’s no excuse behind that. Fuck! I can’t even think straight,” I babble incoherently.
Benny hasn’t changed his expression, and Tom continues to watch me with curious eyes.
Rose is the first to speak up, “Who is she?”
“Excuse me?” I ask, narrowing my eyebrows.
“Who’s the reason why you can’t think straight?”
I don’t say anything, and Tom interrupts, “Maybe I should fuck her so you see what it feels like?”
The mouth on the fucker.
I want to punch his cocky grin but know full well he’s egging me on to get some sort of reaction from me.
“A wise woman once asked me if I believed in karma. I do. Fuck me up, that’s fine. But if you touch her, I will pretty much rip your balls out and feed them to the coyotes.”