“Stop.” I place my hand on his chest, my turn to ease his pain. “I shouldn’t have questioned your relationship with your mother. You have every right to be upset, angry, and everything else you feel toward Gina. I should have understood that, after all, it’s how I feel toward my dad. But the thing is, you can’t blame yourself for her actions. You didn’t choose that childhood, Wesley, but you can choose how you live your life as an adult.”
“I miss you. It fucking killed me when you left.”
I sigh. “I had to. We were toxic.”
“But now?”
My finger moves toward his face, caressing the scar on his jawline. I miss it, a flaw yet a piece of him that’s unique and only belongs to him.
Suddenly, my brain reacts, remembering his words only moments ago. “You met Mama?”
“Yes.” He smiles, wrapping his hands around the back of my neck and casually resting them there. “And I plan on spending as much time with her while I can.”
Again, this all seems rushed and farfetched. He wants to spend time with Mama after meeting her for two minutes. Does he think this is how he can woo me back? And then, the giant elephant that has been in my room, or should I say head, for the last nine months has suddenly made its way in front of both of us.
“The baby…” I mutter, trying to find a way to explain all of what happened.
“Yes.” He sighs. “You really threw a giant curveball at me. I never, in my wildest dreams, expected something like that. The last twenty-four hours have been the most intense hours of my entire life. I mean, fuck, Milana, she’s our baby. You had a baby, and she’s mine.”
“God, Wesley, I don’t even know where to begin with telling you—”
He cuts me off, placing his finger against my lips. “I want to be wherever you and Katerina are. You are my family, you’re my life. I’ve known her for one day, and I can’t imagine life without her.”
“You spent a day with her?”
“Yes.” This time, he caresses my cheek, softly, watching his hand glide against my tear-streaked patchy skin. “I’ve barely slept.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. We were just so fucked up, you know. And when we were together, it was like a high. I just forgot everything existed, and then you left, and I went back to the old me. I don’t blame you, in a way, for hiding this from me.”
Wesley pulls away, and instantly, I miss the contact. He rubs his face with his hands, perhaps the exhaustion weighs down his emotions much like me. “I’m not going to hide that, Milana, or lie to you. I wasn’t good during our time apart, and I need help. I need to find a way to deal with my demons and not keep feeding them.”
“I should have helped you.”
“Don’t you hear what I’m saying?” His tone turns into frustration. “We’re both hurting for different reasons, and we both need help. If we’re going to be together, we both need to work on ways to move forward.”
Instinctively, my hand reaches out to him, grazing his arm with the palm of my hand.
“Play the game, by the rules, and everyone’s a winner.”
“Yeah, but you gotta be honest. Tell me what you want. You.” He points to my heart, forcing me to look deep within myself and ask the question that I have so easily buried beneath all the pain.
“I want to learn to bond with our daughter, but I also want to give Mama her dying wishes,” I croak, bowing my head down. “I just can’t be everything to everyone.”
“You know what?” He lifts my chin, knowingly capturing me with his luring stare. “Knowing Katya, and I think I can say I do, you’ve granted her wish. She just wants to see you love and love her granddaughter just like she loves you. Anything else is a bonus.”
The corner of my lip curves upward, a smile in tow as the tears slowly dissolve. “Like visiting the Colosseum and kissing an Italian man?”
“Yes.” He grins, eyes beautifully lighting up with joy. “I’m sure we can make that happen.”
“Or cuddling a koala in Australia?”
“Yes, although I heard they are fierce and can claw your eyes out, but sure, we can.”
I take a step back, analyzing his body mannerisms to see if this is all a scam to get me back into his life. In the short time we have spent together, I never expected this to happen. Fall in love with a man so wrong for me, and me so wrong for him, then create this family.
“You would do that? Give up everything to spend these next few months with my mama… Flynn included?”