She disappears, to return moments later with a red off-the-shoulder dress which sits mid-thigh. When it comes to shopping, Ava and Mom are experts. If Ava owns this dress, Mom approved it.
“Perfect.” I grin, holding it up. “Shoes?”
Ava huffs, leaving the room again to return with a pair of gold heels. Handing them to me, I scowl at the height.
“I’ll fall over in these,” I point out, my eyes gravitating toward my closet floor. “I mean, how wrong would it be to wear my Chucks?”
“Very wrong,” Ava exaggerates, eyes wide. “We need to raid Mom’s closet.”
“Uh, in case you forgot, how can we raid her closet without her knowing?”
The sound of a throat clearing causes us to shift our heads abruptly. Mom is wearing a pair of sweats, still looking beautiful, though I heard her complain earlier that she’d spent an hour cleaning my sister, Alexandra’s, room. Her hair is tied in a messy bun, but I’m always in awe of her beauty no matter what she wears. As far as mothers go, Mom looks years younger than her actual age, often mistaken for my older sister.
“Hey, Mom,” Ava drags, her lips parting with worried eyes. “We were just talking about clothes and how your wardrobe is every girl’s dream.”
“Uh-huh.” Mom nods, standing still while watching us with her arms crossed beneath her chest. “Ava, could I have a word with your sister, please?”
Ava bolts out of the room, quick to escape the lecture I’m about to receive for attempting to sneak into Mom’s closet. So typical of her, and the worst part—this was all her idea.
“Can we talk, please?”
I follow Mom to my bed, sitting beside her as the guilt sets in over my brief lapse of judgment. I could blame Ava. After all, she’s a bad influence and not the angel everyone makes her out to be.
“Amelia, I know you’re upset, and you have every right to be. I’m not here to defend your father’s actions.” She takes a deep breath, choosing her words carefully. “Your father loves you. And believe it or not, he’s very proud of you.”
“It doesn’t feel like it. I can never please him.”
“That’s not true,” she informs me with a loving gaze. “He just struggles with his emotions. You’ll always be his baby. And in the blink of an eye, you’ve grown up into this beautiful woman ready to embark on a very important journey. I’m not excusing his behavior. I’m merely trying to point out he’s trying to come to terms with all these changes.”
I think about what she says. I don’t feel that at all. Dad treats me so differently from Ava.
“Mom? I really want to go to that party tonight. I wouldn’t normally ask once I’ve been given a no, but I want to clear my head. I didn’t think this whole process could be so stressful, but I was wrong,” I say honestly, continuing, “I know Dad said no, but…”
Mom places her hand on mine with a smile. “You can go, Amelia. As for your father, give him time to process all this.”
Leaning in, I hug her tightly, grateful for her support and friendship. Many of my friends have mothers they can’t call their best friend. I count myself lucky for having both, plus she’s much more level-headed than Ava.
“Now, exactly what shoes are you on the hunt for?”
I laugh softly. “Ava’s idea, not mine. It’s okay, Mom. I’m sure I can find something.”
“The offer is there. Just don’t tell your sisters.” She chuckles but slowly calms down at my expression. “What’s wrong, honey?”
“Can I ask you a question? Only between you and me?”
“You can ask me anything. You know we’ve always been open with each other.”
“It’s about your…” I clear my throat, unsure how to raise the topic without my thoughts coming out in a jumbled mess. “Your, um… first time.”
“Oh…”
“Unless, of course, it was with Dad in which maybe we shouldn’t discuss this.”
Mom’s shoulders relax. “No, it wasn’t your dad, but if there’s anything he wishes he could change, that would most likely be one of them.”
“Did you love him? The guy?”
Mom hesitates, then smiles fondly. “I do now, as a friend, but at the time, we were kids just fooling around and curious.”