Austin leads me toward the kitchen, through a deserted hallway, and up a flight of floating stairs until we’re on the second level. Opening a door, he pulls me into the room, then presses his lips against mine.
“Austin,” I murmur, out of breath with my hands on his chest. “We shouldn’t be up here.”
He pulls away, his gaze exploring my face until he’s drawn to my lips. There’s a king-size bed in the room and a white sofa by the window. Taking my hand, he guides me to the sofa, where the two of us sit.
“So, did you open the envelopes?” he asks, yet much like me, we both try to avoid this topic tonight.
I nod, gently scratching the top of his hand. “I got into all of them.”
“What?” His expression illuminates. “That’s amazing!”
“Yeah, it is…”
“Why the face? You’re not happy?”
“I’m happy I got into three excellent schools, but… well… my father doesn’t exactly approve of me attending Yale. In fact, he said no.”
“C’mon, Millie, you know he’ll come around.”
“I don’t know,” I mumble, still unable to process his reaction. “I guess, if he does change his mind, you’re only two hours away at Harvard.”
Austin pulls back, scratching the back of his neck. His body language changes, or perhaps my chaotic thoughts are reading too much into this.
“I got into John Hopkins.”
My mouth falls open. “John Hopkins? I didn’t realize you’d applied. I thought you wanted to go to Harvard?”
“Last-minute change.” He lowers his head, avoiding my gaze.
I turn away, my heavy stare shifting toward the window. Outside is nothing but darkness. Not even the moon cares to show itself behind the thick clouds.
We talked so much about this, where we applied and what we wanted to do. Never once did he mention John Hopkins. Part of me feels betrayed that he held this secret from me. No matter what, I’d have been supportive. I just didn’t understand why he felt the need to hide this from me.
“Baltimore,” I drag, trying to make sense of this all. “That’s further from Yale? Not that Yale matters if my dad has a say in the matter. Distance makes the heart great fonder, right?”
“You know what?” His lips curve upward with hopeful eyes following. “Why do we have to worry about it right now?”
“You’re right,” I agree, leaning in to kiss his lips.
With a sense of urgency, he takes my mouth and kisses me deeply. His body slowly hovers above mine, pinning me down on the sofa. I let out a soft moan as his lips trail toward my neck, and his hand moves beneath my dress, skirting at the edge of my panties.
“Austin,” I gasp, trying to control my urges. “Not here.”
It falls on deaf ears as he moves his hands over my panties, causing me to draw a breath in sharply.
“Austin,” I repeat, pushing his chest with more force. “I don’t want to have sex here. Not with everyone downstairs.”
Slightly offended, he draws back. “I understand, but I want you, Millie. I want you.” He swallows, his tone nervous. “I want you to be my first.”
We haven’t exactly discussed our past to a great extent. I know he dated other girls in school, and I’d assumed he’d had sex. From the few times we’ve been able to be alone, he knows just what to do. Never does he appear nervous or hesitant.
“I…” I stumble on my words, distracted by the noise downstairs. “I’m not ready, I’m sorry. I know that’s not what you want to hear. And yes, I am aware that I’m already eighteen, and even my sister has lost her virginity, but I just want it to be right, and this place doesn’t feel right.”
“I understand,” he whispers, pulling away while struggling, my eyes diverting to his pants to see the reason why.
I pull him back toward me, kissing him hard and guiding him back on top of me. I may not have been ready to lose my virginity tonight, but I still want him and want to show him how much.
With fire in his eyes, his hands move back between my thighs. “Do you want me to stop?”