Well, guess what, sweetheart?
I haven’t moved on.
I still fucking love
you.
Her escape from me is quick, but I call her name in which she stops so easily.
Maybe all is not lost, maybe somewhere in this fucked up universe of ours, timing is everything.
I didn’t want to visit Mom tonight. It was the last thing I wanted to do. Yet out of character, I did so unsure of why. Now, I understand that something greater pulled me here.
It’s the woman standing only a few feet away with her back facing me.
A sudden memory came to me of Ashley Stone all those months ago.
“Loving the wrong person is one of life’s greatest punishments.”
How damn true. All those months ago, I thought being apart from Amelia was the ultimate punishment. But now, only a few feet away and untouchable, I realize this is even greater. She’s no longer the figment of my imagination. She is here, living and breathing.
I’d envisioned what this moment would feel like, and in my warped head, it was something special. Amelia fell into my arms and told me she would never let go again.
But the reality is anything but sweet.
It’s bitter, bleak—a slap in the face. It’s the cold wind on a winter’s day. The icy road which causes your car to spin out of control. It’s unpleasant and detrimental to moving forward to better things.
How can I move forward and profess my love when she’s given her heart to someone else?
“I never forgot about us…” I tell her, bowing my head. “So no, all is not forgotten.”
She doesn’t turn around nor acknowledge my words. Instead, she walks away just as she had all those years ago.
And the pain manifests into something greater.
It tears me down, forces my heart to slow down, and seemingly stop beating. Nothing in this life matters, not when she’s running off right now with a high probability of falling straight into his arms.
I have no idea how to escape the turmoil, erase the pain which crippled me into this very spot inside the lobby of the building.
My only coping mechanism is to find something temporarily to make me forget. So, what if I fall into bad habits? I need anything to numb the pain because addiction is a special kind of hell.
And Amelia Edwards is an addiction I can’t seem to recover from no matter how hard I try. Replacing my desperation for her is only to protect myself.
No one else is looking out for Will Romano.
Not even the woman who promised her heart belonged to me, and only me.
7
WILL
My gaze falls across the skyline while I stand beside the window of the hotel room.
I’ve barely touched the Scotch I’ve been nursing for the last hour. It’s unusual for me to procrastinate with an expensive liquor designed to be consumed, but something is holding me back.
Friday night in New York City is anything but quiet. It’s everyone’s chance to socialize, dine and dance, drink and be merry. Cabs drive past carrying passengers, and patrons stand around in lines waiting to be served. There is noise everywhere, but after a while, it all drowns out and becomes part of the usual nightlife.
Alone, inside this hotel room, my choice to stay here is deliberate. My emotions are wreaking havoc, a cyclone of impure thoughts after seeing her tonight. It would have been easy to drown out the pain buried between another woman’s legs, but I know my triggers too well. Halfway through, I’ll remember how my body craves someone else, and my sudden distaste for the woman beneath me will call off any chances for a happy ending.