I eagerly took whatever snacks were on offer, unsure of the last time I ate. Somewhere during the flight, I dozed off, my head against some older man beside me. He didn’t seem to mind, and frankly, being embarrassed is the least of my problems.
Back at the hospital, nothing much has changed. I had been gone for most of the day, returning late at night. The hospital is strict on visiting hours, but given the circumstances, they allowed us to stick around.
Nikki and Will only just returned before me. Nikki looks rejuvenated, out of the pants and blouse she wore for the last day and into a pair of jeans and a buttoned-down shirt. Her hair appears to be washed, and her skin somewhat back to its usual glow.
Will hasn’t bothered to shave, though he did change into a pair of khakis and a white tee. Ava did well with sizes and helping with such short notice. He looks better than before he left for the hotel, but nothing like the Will I’d grown accustomed to. The dark circles remain, a reminder of the burden he carried on his shoulders.
“Is everything okay?” Nikki asks, eyeing my finger dubiously. “Charlie said you had something to take care of?”
“Yes.” I sigh, trying to remain optimistic. “Everything is fine with me.”
“I think it’s about time you and Charlie get some rest.”
“You’re right. I could use a shower and a few hours’ sleep.” I pause, fidgeting with my hands. “Did you speak to Will about the paternity test? Mom mentioned it.”
“I did. The fact is, he doesn’t have a choice.”
“But why would Ashley lie?” I question Nikki. “If she’s the same woman Will claimed she was, why would she tell her parents any different?”
Nikki shrugs his shoulders. “In my years of being an attorney, I’ve seen it all. There could be several motives, or maybe she did tell the truth. The fact is, we
need to protect Will and this baby. If this is his child, the last thing we need is social services stepping in.”
My head begins to hurt at the thought of social services stepping in. This is not the way any human being should start their life.
“What about you?” I ask, worried about Nikki’s wellbeing as well. She is a strong woman, but we all have our limits. “How are you doing?”
“I don’t know, to be honest.” Her stare fixates through the glass window and toward where Will and Mom stand beside the baby. “This wasn’t exactly how I envisioned becoming a grandmother. I always thought it would be you, pregnant with a baby.”
I lower my head, rubbing my elbows. “I was pregnant, Nikki. Just before it ended with Will, it's one of the reasons I chose to walk away as well.”
Nikki's eyes widen as she turns my way. “Please don’t tell me you—”
“No.” I’m quick to stop her and set the record straight. “I lost the baby very early on. I wasn’t prepared to fall pregnant at nineteen to a man I’d been fooling around with, so the shock was a rude wake-up call to how deep we were in the mess we created for ourselves.”
Nikki places her hand on my arm. “I know that was hard to tell me, so thank you. It’s not easy being a woman, that’s for sure. We endure so much. In the blink of an eye, life can completely change.”
“I felt ashamed, blaming myself for losing the baby despite the doctor telling me it is quite normal,” I admit, swallowing the lump inside my throat. “But being here in the NICU, it’s made me realize how precious life is. I just really wish it was something women spoke about.”
“It’s not something to be ashamed of. Though I will admit, I felt that way when we were trying to conceive Beau. Infertility is such a lonesome journey.”
Dr. Rossmore, a neonatologist who is responsible for the babies inside the NICU—walks out of the room with Will. Mom stays behind, talking to a nurse from what I can see behind the glass.
Nikki raises the subject of DNA testing to confirm Will is the father. Dr. Rossmore explains how it works; a simple swab taken from the cheek. Will remains quiet with his head hung low, not asking any questions.
“We will have the results by the morning,” Dr. Rossmore informs us. “I understand this is a very trying process, but I suggest you go home and rest.”
Dr. Rossmore and Will walk down the corridor to perform the test. Mom exits the NICU, looking exhausted.
“I’ll stay here,” Nikki tells us. “Please grab something to eat, shower, and rest. We all need the energy to get through this.”
Mom agrees, so we say goodbye before Will returns, glancing at me from down the corridor.
“I’ll meet you at the hotel, Millie,” she says before leaving me alone with Will.
We both take steps closer to each other, then stop just outside the nurse’s station. Thankfully, only one nurse is there, and her head is buried in paperwork.
“Your mom said you left.”