But even as the words leave my mouth, I know I’ve made a mistake. I’ve allowed it all to consume me, the lies, the media frenzy, and the worst offender of all—my insecurities.
Now it is all too late. The damage is done, and I’ve crushed the man I love.
When I get back to my apartment, Eric takes one look at me with sympathy in his eyes. He stuck around to babysit Emmy when I lied and said I had to take care of something. He brought his laptop, so balanced watching her and dealing with this media mess. When it comes to unwarranted scandals, Eric knows exactly how to handle it.
Shaking my head in silence, I sniffle as my eyes cloud and my words choke on the sobs stuck in my throat.
“Ava, sweetie, sit.”
Eric brings me a bottle of water as I sink into the sofa, throwing my head back and reliving it all. I don’t understand what came over me. This need to protect what is mine. But that’s the thing, Austin isn’t mine. He’s E
mmy’s father and the man I’ve been intimate with.
But that’s where it ends.
“I don’t want to talk about it, Eric,” I mumble.
Eric checks his watch. “Okay, listen. I have our legal team on this, and you bet we’ll sue whoever’s ass started this mess.”
“What’s the point, Eric? It’s always going to happen no matter who I’m with.”
With his arms crossed, Eric stands up. “Ava Edwards, I know you’re upset. But you need to stop this damn pity party of yours. This isn’t the woman I admire, and god damn it, I refuse to keep watching you destroy yourself because you can’t wake up and admit the truth. Where is the great Ava Edwards, huh?”
“Eric,” I stammer, “I don’t know what’s happening with me either.”
Eric releases a collective sigh of frustration, and I don’t blame him—I’m frustrated with me too.
“Listen, I’m already running late to a meeting. As soon as it’s done, I’ll call you. But please, for the love of God, pull yourself together.”
Eric leaves my apartment as I sit here, lost with what to do. It isn’t out of character for Eric to dish out tough love. In so many ways, we’re alike. I have zero patience for self-pity, but when you’re the one walking in those shoes, it’s a whole other ball game.
While Emmy continues to sleep, I do nothing but stare at the wall. For how long, I’m not sure. When she stirs, I change and feed her, then place her back down for another nap.
Just so I can go back to staring at the wall again.
My phone sits on the sofa beside me. There is no missed call from Austin, not even a text message. There are several from other people, but I ignore them and hit dial to call Millie. When the call connects, I can’t even talk.
“Ava,” Millie calls softly. “What did you do?”
I shake my head, though she can’t see.
“I ruined it, Millie. I hurt Austin, accused him of all these things which I know in my heart aren’t true, but I don’t know what came over me.”
If anyone knows me, it’s my flesh and blood.
My sister.
“Do you think the self-sabotage is because you’re scared?”
“I’m scared, Millie.” I swallow the hard lump inside my throat, twisting the corner of the cushion anxiously with my fingers. “I’m in love with him.”
As tears fall down my cheek, Emmy stirs in her bassinet again.
Leaving the phone on the sofa, I keep Millie on speaker while cradling Emmy in my arms. Her eyes open faintly as a small yawn escapes her.
“Falling in love with someone is the most exhilarating feeling, but also the scariest at the same time. Your heart is at its most vulnerable, and sometimes we do crazy things…” Millie adds, then remains quiet.
“Are you angry with me?”