Emma's Wish

Emma noticed a slight flush creep across his face. Then his meaning dawned on her, and she felt her own face grow warm.

"Oh!" Emma looked away. "I ... hadn't thought of that ..."

How could she have forgotten? The prospect of a physical relationship with a man was the precise reason she had resigned herself to a life alone. Yet she had completely forgotten that. She hadn't for a moment considered the possibility that Sam might expect to exert his rights as a husband. Her only concern had been the children and her own needs. She'd wanted a husband and a family of her own, and when the opportunity had presented itself to her, she'd jumped at the chance.

She'd assumed Sam only wanted someone to look after his home and his children. She'd never given a moment's thought to Sam's other needs - needs she'd heard all men have.

"It's a small house. Maybe you should have seen it first before you agreed to live there--"

"The size of a house is unimportant. It's the people inside who make it a home," Emma said.

Sam grinned. "I hope you feel the same way when we're tripping over each other trying to get to the breakfast table."

Emma chuckled. She was actually looking forward to bustling around Sam's kitchen as she prepared meals for her new family.

"And we'll have to share the same bed--"

Her smile vanished. "What?"

"Like I said, the house is small, only two bedrooms. The children sleep in one, we sleep in the other."

He expected her to share his bedroom.

Share his bed!

Impossible. She couldn't sleep beside him in the same bed night after night. What if he changed his mind and wanted more? She could never allow him to be her husband in the most intimate sense. She couldn't bear to see the revulsion on his face when she bared herself to him.

"I can't--"

"There's nowhere else to sleep. Maybe next year I can add a room, but right now, it's either my bed or the barn."

She had no intention of sleeping with the animals, and he certainly wasn't offering. "I see. Then I suppose there really isn't any alternative."

"None that I can see," Sam said. "But like I said before, I won't expect you to fulfil ... your wifely duties ..."

Emma felt her face grow even redder. "Thank you," she murmured. "I appreciate it. I do realize you have right

s ..."

Sam gazed at her. "I may have rights, but I won't be taking advantage of you. My wife hasn't been gone a year yet, and I still can hardly face the day without her. The last thing I can think about right now is bedding another woman."

Did he really have to put it so bluntly? She supposed he was only trying to be straightforward, but discussing such things with a man, even if he was going to be her husband, was disconcerting, to say the least. But the fact that he had no desire to do more in his bed than sleep was something to be thankful for.

"Now that that's settled," he went on, "I suppose we should decide when we're going to get married."

"Do you have any preference?"

Sam shrugged. "The sooner the better, the way I see it, but I know you ladies like to arrange things--"

"I have nothing to arrange. We can marry this afternoon if you like."

Sam's eyebrows arched. "I think we should wait a few days, just in case you change your mind. How about Saturday?"

Emma slid her cup and saucer across the table out of the way. Leaning forward, she rested her elbows on the table and eyed him earnestly. "Sam, I guarantee I will not change my mind. I will marry you, I will be the best housekeeper and mother I can be. All I ask is that you never expect more than that. Because I can't ... I won't ... ever be a real wife to you."

***

"So we don't have to go to Boston?" Joseph asked at home later that afternoon.