Emma's Wish

"Listen to me," he implored, cupping her chin and forcing her to look at him. "You have nothing to be sorry about. Nothing. Okay?"

Emma nodded slightly, but Sam knew she didn't agree with him. Her testimony had hurt them. They both knew that. But it wasn't her fault.

Muttering and whispers from the spectators filled the small courtroom.

The judge picked up his gavel and hammered it on its base. "Quiet."

The noise in the courtroom dissipated until the only sounds were those floating through the open window of a child laughing, and a dog barking somewhere nearby. "Please continue, Mr. McCallum," the judge said, leaning back in his chair.

Leaning over to Sam, Jonas whispered, "This is it, Sam. Just remember what I told you."

Sam nodded, then crossed to the witness stand after Jonas called his name.

"Okay, Mr. Jenkins. Let's get right to the nitty-gritty of this matter. Why did you marry Emma?"

Sam was a little taken aback. He expected Jonas to lead into his questions, as he had with the other witnesses. "Well," he responded, "At the time, I would have done anything to keep my kids. Emma offered to marry me. I accepted."

"But you didn't know Emma. You didn't know she would be a good mother to your children. Did you?"

Sam hesitated. Jonas was supposed to be on their side. What was he doing?

"Sam?"

"Well, no, I didn't. Not at first."

"How did you and Emma meet?"

Sam related the events leading up to his arrival at Emma's house. It seemed like they'd met years ago, but at the same time, it seemed like only yesterday that they'd stood face to face in her kitchen arguing about the future of his children.

"Why did the children run away from home?" Jonas asked.

"They didn't want to go to live with their grandparents."

Jonas repeated the statement, slowly and with emphasis. "Why do you suppose that is? Seems like they'd be able to give them anything they want."

"Becky had never seen her grandparents, since was born here in Texas, and the boys don't remember their lives back east. They were too young when we left for them to remember it much. This is home to them."

"Let's move on. So you met Emma. Then what happened?"

Sam hesitated, then told the rest of the story. As he spoke, he glanced at the faces of those in the crowd. Some eyed him with shocked disbelief, others with disgust in their eyes. Put in words, he had to admit the story did sound cold and heartless, as if he'd used Emma.

But isn't that exactly what he'd done? He'd used the fact that she was a warm and loving woman who wanted a home and children, and he'd taken advantage of her. Sure, she'd been the one to make the proposition in the first place, but any kind of decent man would have turned her down. And to make matters worse, lately he'd been pressuring her to give even more of herself, hadn’t he?

He should be thankful for what he had instead of wishing for more. He was grateful, and he wouldn't be pushing her for more if he didn't really believe she wanted more from their marriage, too. And if he didn't fall asleep every night thinking about her lying next to him and how much he wanted her. But it wasn't only the physical release he needed. It was more, so much more than that.

Jonas's voice interrupted his wayward thoughts. "But you didn't know what kind of woman Emma was? How could you have known she would be a good mother to your children?"

"Oh ... but by the time we agreed to get married, I did know," Sam contradicted. "I spoke to people who knew her. They all agreed the children would be lucky to have her as their mother."

"They did?"

He looked at Emma as he continued. "And that I'd be a lucky man to marry her."

He smiled at Emma, and her face reddened. The way she blushed at a simple compliment was only one of the qualities he loved about her.

"So you didn't just jump into a marriage without thinking about it and making sure the woman you were going to marry was fit to raise your children."

"Of course not."