Because he’s been cast out.
A chill came over me as the truth of who—what—Casziel was began to solidify from impossible suspicion into reality.
“No. I…I can’t.” I let go of him and backed away. “I can’t do…whatever this is.”
“Lucy…”
“No. I’m not like the girls in the stories. I want to be, but I’m just not. I can’t help you. I’m so sorry…”
I was up three stairs to my place when Casziel’s deep voice arrested me.
“This coat belonged to your father.”
I turned, my pulse pounding slow and hard. “What did you say?”
“It’s his. You kept it and gave the rest away.” Casziel frowned, perplexed. “What is a Hum-free Bo-gart?”
The blood drained from my face. “Who told you…?”
“He told me.”
“You’re talking to my father? Right now?”
“He says you should let me explain.” He frowned again, listening. “Not sure what pumpkins have to do with anything…”
“You’re lying,” I said through trembling lips, even as I desperately scanned the area for my dad. “You’re a liar and you’re cruel—”
“I am both.” Casziel’s lips twisted. “But not today.”
I breathed hard, the tears in my throat trying to choke me. “I don’t know who you are or how you know about us, but to have some stranger toy with my grief is wrong. And terrifying.”
“I beg to differ,” Casziel snapped. “Terrifying is placing the fate of your eternal soul in the hands of a human girl who clearly doesn’t have the guts for it.”
I shook my head. “You’re not well. You need help.”
“Have I not been saying so since the beginning?” Casziel scrubbed a hand through his loose, dark curls. “Gods, woman, I don’t have time—”
“I don’t care,” I cried, backing away and hitting my hip on the stair rail. The pain was sharp but didn’t wake me from this insanity. “You have my dad’s coat. That’s already too much, but that’s all you’ll get from me. Now leave me alone or I will call the police.”
Casziel muttered a curse, then said louder, “He says to tell you that you’ll always have him.”
I froze, turned.
“He says it may seem crazy, but I need your help. And you’ve never been one to—”
“Turn my back on someone who needs help,” I finished. “My God.” I took another step closer, squaring my shoulders and meeting Casziel’s eyes. “Is this real?”
“It is real.”
“Why me?”
“Lucy born of light, you can help me be something other than…what I am.”
Black wings and black eyes and visions of death swirled all around me. “What you are…”
“Born into darkness.”
Reality warped in those short moments. I was stepping into the wardrobe after all, and there was no going back. And I didn’t want to. A strange energy radiated off Casziel that was waking up something deep inside me. Some courage I didn’t know I had. Turning him away now would put it back to sleep.