The Sinner

And when I open my mouth to scream, they pour in…

I woke up with a scream on my lips. The dream faded and reality—searing to my aching head—rushed in. I was in my bed, in my apartment, and Casziel was nowhere to be seen.

“Just a nightmare. That’s all.”

I winced as morning light pierced my eyes, as if the sun were extracting vengeance on me for some unknown crime. I lay back down and waited until the nausea faded. The dream tried to creep back into my thoughts, but I pushed it out or else I was going to be sick for sure.

When I trusted my stomach again, I got up and went to the kitchen for a glass of water. Moving like an old lady, I passed the window—open a crack—and grimaced at the sight of a fly skittering along the outside of the pane.

“Stay out of my dreams, you.”

I managed to get a glass out of the cupboard and filled it with water from the tap. My mouth tasted like the floor of a movie theater—I vaguely remembered the bartender at Mulligan’s had put a bowl of stale popcorn in front of us at some point during last night’s revelries.

My revelries. Despite drinking a gallon of wine, Cas had remained sober as hell.

I snickered and drank more water, facing my small, empty place. There were now several flies congregating outside my window. As I watched, one flew inside and landed on the bowl of fruit on my counter. The lone banana was about to go bad.

Another fly joined it. Then another.

“What…?”

I went cold all over to see a cloud of flies buzzing at the window, covering the pane, a writhing mass of little gray bodies. More and more…then they poured inside like smoke, swamping me. First in handfuls, then so thickly, I couldn’t see.

The water glass fell from my hands to shatter on the linoleum at my feet. I frantically—and uselessly—batted at the swarm.

This isn’t real this isn’t real this isn’t…

I stumbled and crashed into the tiny island counter. Trapped. I didn’t dare open my eyes or even breathe as flies covered my skin, relentless. The terror enveloped me, driving out rational thought. Impossible to imagine this was actually happening.

I started to sink to the floor when the air shifted. Like a current running through the apartment.

“Ma ki-ta!”

Through my fingers, I saw Casziel. The demon, Casziel. He stood in the center of my apartment dressed in his black clothing. But a huge sword was strapped between the rippling muscles of his back and shoulders, between massive wings covered in glossy black feathers that draped down on either side of him, long enough that their tips brushed the backs of his boots. Even in that horror-filled moment, the dark majesty of him stole my breath.

He thrust both pale, bloodless hands toward the window and beat his immense feathered wings, once. The gust of wind they created caught every fly and drove it through the open window. Within seconds, they were gone, again leaving my senses overwhelmed and grasping desperately for what was real.

A sob escaped me as I clutched the counter. Casziel turned his head at the sound, his black-upon-black eyes like onyx pits in the alabaster perfection of his face. I cowered at the cold dread emanating from them and sank to the floor where I curled up amid the shattered glass.

In the next instant, Cas was kneeling before me in his human form, his expression stricken.

“Forgive me, Lucy. Forgive me…”

He took my face in both hands and leaned in. For one crazed moment, I thought he was going to kiss me. But he pressed his thumb to my forehead and closed his eyes.

“Ñeštug u-lu…”

I blinked awake and a little cry flew out of my mouth. I was sitting on the kitchen floor, pressed up against the island instead of in my bed. Broken glass lay all around me in a small pool of water. I was so drunk last night. I must’ve tried to get water and dropped the glass, then…passed out?

My stomach roiled at the idea that I’d been so reckless.

Cas didn’t help.

Despite drinking a gallon of wine, he’d remained sober as hell…

“Whoa. Déjà vu.”

Gingerly, I stepped around the broken glass with my bare feet. My apartment was empty. I looked to the open window, wondering if Cas were going to fly in as a raven and decided if he was, I didn’t need to watch it happen. My poor brain didn’t need another jolt.