It was all a performance. The rose was a prop and the kiss on my hand didn’t mean anything. Seemed like my heart was having a hard time remembering that.
We stepped inside. Cas stretched out on the couch and flipped on the TV, as if to avoid conversation. A strange tension permeated the air, like how two strangers in a small space run out of things to say to each other. Except that wasn’t right. More like when two people who are most definitely not strangers have a lot to say to each other but don’t.
Or can’t.
I sat in the chair beside the couch. “I did something kind of big today. I volunteered to share my shoe idea with the team on Monday.”
His eyes widened and he looked to be on the verge of smiling. “You did?”
I nodded. “Deb tried to talk me out of it, but I did what you told me. Instead of listening to her, I spoke up louder. It felt good. Scary but good.”
“I’m not surprised. You’re one of the strongest women I’ve ever known.”
I stared. “I am?”
He looked away. “I just meant, all humans are far more powerful than they believe.”
“I don’t feel powerful. I feel scared shitless, like I made a terrible mistake.”
“That’s K. Between now and Monday, she a
nd Deb are going to try to stop you by any means necessary.”
“God, demons make it so hard for humans to accomplish anything. It’s amazing that your side hasn’t won and turned this world into hell.”
He arched a brow. “You think it’s not? With the murders and rapes and torture and war and sex trafficking and child pornography and mass shootings and—”
“Yes, there is all that, and it’s all horrible. But there is more that is beautiful than there is ugly. Sometimes it’s just harder to see.” I frowned at him. “I guess that’s your job. To make it hard to see.”
“I couldn’t have explained it better myself.”
“Even so. I still believe in the goodness of people.”
“That, Lucy Dennings, is why I picked you.”
Is that the only reason?
I decided to see how powerful—and brave—I really was. “How, exactly, did you find me, Cas?”
I told you. Seen through the Veil; your light shines bright.”
“But lots of humans shine just as brightly, if not brighter. Jana, for instance. She’s one of the best people I know—”
“I needed someone solitary. I can’t very well go about revealing my true self to just anyone.”
“Okay, but…sometimes I get the feeling that you and I…” I swallowed. “I get the feeling we’re not strangers.”
I held my breath, waiting for him to reply.
“It’s our bond—the one that formed when you spoke my name—creating a false sense of familiarity. That’s all.”
“But—”
He rose from the couch. “Are we not going to dinner with your coworkers shortly?”
“Well, yes. But Cas…”
His gaze swept over me, the longing in his eyes silencing my words and bringing back the dream of the woman and the warrior.