“Why are you so pissed? I didn’t steal your damn poem. Autumn found it under an econ paper and thought it was mine.”
“And you let her keep thinking that.”
“Yeah? So? What’s the big deal? Damn poem told the truth, anyway. You think I haven’t jerked off a hundred times this month, waiting for her?” He stopped, his brows coming together. “Hold on…Why are you writing about jerking off to her?”
“I’m not. It’s not her,” I said quickly, shifting my backpack to my other shoulder, my heart pounding now with guilt instead of anger. “It’s…thoughts. Words. Shit I dream up.”
“Really?” Connor crossed his arms. “It’s not about Autumn?”
“No,” I said, and the flat lie tasted like acid in my mouth. “Ever hear of write-what-you-know? She’s around a lot. I haven’t been with a girl in months so it came out in the poem, but it’s not about her.”
“Well, Autumn sure as shit thought it was about her.”
“Yeah, and look how well that turned out for you.”
My hands were still balled into fists. Against Connor. We’d never been this at odds with each other. It felt like the solid foundation between us had sprouted its first cracks and I hated it.
Connor must’ve felt the same. He backed off and held up his hands.
“I’m sorry I stole your poem. It just sort of happened. The way she was looking at me…no girl has ever looked at me that way. Not over a feeling. Or thoughts. It felt fucking good so I went with it, okay?”
I shook my head. “If she finds out…”
“So let’s not tell her,” Connor said. “If it comes up again, help me out a little, like you did with the texts.”
I ran my hand through my hair then jabbed a finger at the Creative Arts Building. “If you’re serious about auditing that class, then do it and pay attention. But I’m not writing a damn thing for you. Not one word.”
He held up his hands. “What the hell is the big deal? It’s like an econ paper—”
“It’s nothing like an econ paper. It’s about her. Her feelings. She’s serious about you now, right?”
Connor shrugged. “Yeah, she is. We are.”
I closed my eyes for a second. “You have to be careful. Don’t…”
Don’t break her heart.
“…fuck around with her.”
“I won’t,” Connor said. “It may shock you, but I actually care about her.”
“Good.” I shouldered my bag. “I gotta go.”
I took a few steps and then Connor called my name. His voice sounded like it did when he spoke on the phone with his dad. Unsettled and full of worry.
It made me turn around.
“Yeah, man.”
His uncertain smile nearly cracked my damn heart. “See you at home?”
He needs me.
“See you at home.”
Autumn
“Someone didn’t come home last night,” Ruby called in a sing-song voice.