Love Game
Page 38
She stared at me a moment more, waiting for me to say the right thing, then shook her head.
“Forget it. Do whatever you want. Get yourself kicked out of tennis if it makes you feel better. Do anything that will make you feel better, Kai. If that’s even possible.”
You. I feel better when I’m with you.
“This was a mistake,” she said. “You and me… That night at the pool. A huge mistake. You’re addicted to being miserable, Kai. And I’m not going to let you bring me down with you.”
She pushed past me, and I stood alone on the patio.
“God, I’m an arsehole,” I muttered and hurried to follow her.
She took a winding path down to the beach and walked along the shore. For a second, I just watched the shape of her in her flowing dress against the moonlight that spilled over the black water like a silvery puddle.
She’s so fucking beautiful. Don’t lose her. Don’t let her slip away…
Then I ran.
Daisy
I hurried across the thick, warm sand as fast as I could, though it pulled at my shoes and my dress dragged. The ocean smelled clean and cold, helping to calm my jangled nerves after the incident with Brad, him cornering me on my way to the restroom. It’d happened so fast, and my body felt teleported back to the night of the break-in, my mind hijacked and paralyzed until somehow Brad was pressed against me.
I shivered in the warm air and kept going, not knowing where. Just away to some place that wasn’t dark and closed in. Kai caught up with me quickly.
“Daisy…”
“Don’t, Kai…”
“No, I have to. You were right,” he said, moving to stand in front of me. “I’ve been miserable for years. I just… I miss him, okay? I miss him, and I’m so fucking angry that he’s gone. That he left how he did. It’s colored everything I’ve touched since and turned it to shit.”
The wind blew my curls across my face. His hand came up like he wanted to push them aside but dropped again.
“When I saw you in there with Finn… I wasn’t upset because it was my rival. I was upset because it was you. With another man. And I don’t want you to be with another man.” He swallowed. “I want you to be with me.”
I stared back, wanting to hold on to the warm water feeling that washed over me at those words. “I don’t know what that means, Kai,” I said. “I don’t think you know what that means. To be with someone. You have to give yourself. And you have to be willing for it all to go wrong but give anyway.”
“I have to let them score on me,” he murmured.
I frowned. “What do you mean?”
“My best games,” he said, moving close, holding me loosely around the waist, “are the ones when I score all the points. And that’s how it is in my life too. I don’t let anyone get a dig on me. No one exposes my weakness. No one hits me where it hurts because I don’t let them. I’m the one who walks away. Always. It’s survival. Protection.”
I nodded, my hands sliding up my arms, feeling the gravitational pull of his body, drawing me in. “Life doesn’t work that way.”
“I know. Sometimes it kicks your ass. Hard.”
I tilted my head up. “And that makes the wins even sweeter.”
His hands slipped up to hold my face. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Daisy. And I don’t want to mess it up or hurt you.”
“I don’t either,” I said. “I don’t know what I can give, honestly. Obviously, the break-in still has a hold on me.”
He put his arms around me and held me close, and I melted into his embrace that was protective and safe instead of smothering.
“I’m sorry Brad made you feel all that shit again,” Kai murmured into my hair. “And whatever you need in order to feel better. Less scared. I’ll do it.”
“I can’t sleep without a light, never mind with a man in my bed.” I shook my head. “God, it’s so embarrassing.”