I shut the locker door.
I stayed because I wanted a conversation with her that lasted longer than five minutes. And I stayed because if I left, I’d lose Alonzo and Rita and Joaquin too. Too many hits I couldn’t take.
This is bad, I thought, heading to the dining room to help Mr. Webb with breakfast. I need to be able to walk away at any time. Keep my head down. Do my job…
But somewhere over the last few weeks, keeping my head down and doing my job was no longer enough.
Around one o’clock, Rita grabbed me in the hallway outside the dining room. “Thea’s ready for her walk. She asked for you specifically.”
I swallowed my heart that was apparently trying to climb out of my chest. “She did?”
Rita nodded. “Like I said, she has free will now. Delia threw a fit, but she had to go back to Richmond at least until tomorrow afternoon.” She inclined her head toward the dining room. “Thea’s in there, finishing lunch. Heads-up, she’s having a rough day.”
That’s all I needed to hear. I went inside. Thea sat a table by herself, in beige pants and a plain white T-shirt. Remnants of lunch in front of her. Her eyes were puffy and red, but a smile found its way to her lips when I approached.
“Hi,” she said, her voice raw from crying. “How long has it been?”
I froze, and the blood drained from my face.
Oh fuck. Oh no.
Thea laughed tiredly. “Oh my God, Jimmy, I’m kidding. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…” She folded her arms on the table and hid her face in them. “Bad joke. I’m so sorry.” She peeked up. “Do you forgive me?”
“No,” I deadpanned, before relief burst out of me on a laugh, and I slumped into the chair opposite her. “It’s not funny. Why am I laughing?”
“Because I make jokes at the worst times. Now you’re going to discover all my worst qualities. Lucky you.” She smiled wanly, and then the dark cloud of her grief thickened the air between us.
“I’m sorry about your parents,” I said quietly.
Her eyes filled with tears. “I am too. Didn’t stop me from wolfing down a huge lunch.”
“You probably needed it.”
“Coming back from the dead is hungry work.” Her eyes spilled over and she covered her face with her hands. “See? I keep making dumb jokes.”
“You deal how you deal,” I said. “It’s a lot to take.”
“How do you deal? Do you have a dark sense of humor?”
“Me? No, I have no sense of humor whatsoever.”
She laughed a little. “Oh good. I get to discover your worst qualities, too.”
I kept my expression blank as my heart filled with possibilities. Thea was free and she wanted to get to know me. We had longer than five minutes. We had time to explore who we were…
Together?
Doris sneered. Aren’t we full of ourselves today?
Thea pushed her tray away with a little shove. “I need some air.”
I got to my feet and offered my arm.
“Thank you, Jimmy.”
We left the dining room and stepped outside into the humid air. She turned her face up to the bright sun the same way she had on every other walk we’d taken. Because she’d always been herself. Even then.
“Everything is so real,” she said. “Like I’ve had blurry vision and now I can see.” She inhaled deeply. “We’ve done this walk a few times, haven’t we?”