A Five-Minute Life

“Jesus, Thea.”

“It wouldn’t change who he is.”

“And who is he to you?”

I shrugged, swaying the dress’s skirt side to side in the mirror. “I don’t know. A friend, for sure. My best friend, all things considered.” The girl in the mirror smiled and her cheeks turned pink. “Maybe more.”

“More?” Delia stared. “How can he be more? You don’t know him.”

“That’s not true,” I said. “I didn’t meet him for the first time the other day. He’s been taking care of me for weeks.”

“How do you know?”

“I remember, Deel. I remember him.”

She sniffed and perused a rack of blouses, but I’d been turning thoughts and feelings about Jimmy around and around and needed to let them out. To hear how they sounded outside of my own head and heart.

“There’s something about Jimmy that I really connect with. He’s the only one who understood I was still in there. No judgment,” I added for Rita’s sake. “I just… I don’t know, I feel comfortable with him. Like I’ve known him forever. Not gonna lie, it doesn’t hurt that he’s drop-dead gorgeous.”

Rita coughed, and a pleasant, zingy panic shot through me. I whirled on her.

“Oh my God, you cannot go reporting to Jimmy anything that is spoken here,” I said, laughing. “Girl code, Rita. Girl code.”

“I am sworn to secrecy,” she said, laughing.

“What do you have against him, anyway?” I asked my sister. “He saved me. In case you’ve decided to forget, he’s the one who stopped that man…” I gave myself a shake as gooseflesh broke out over my skin, this time cold and unwanted.

Rita put her hand on my arm. “Are you ready to talk about that night?”

“Nope,” I said, shaking my head. “Not going to let that asshole ruin my day.” I heaved a sigh. “As I was saying, Jimmy’s a good man. One of the best.”

Delia snorted. “I don’t trust him. I don’t trust any man who would take so much interest in a girl who had no way of speaking for herself or making decisions.”

“I remember him, Deel,” I said again. “I had a way of speaking for myself, through my drawings, and he saw it.” I gave her a pointed look. “And now I can actually speak for myself and make decisions. You’re going to have to get used to that.”

My sister looked ready to argue when her phone rang again. She put it to her ear and turned away from us. “Hi,” she said, her voice soft. Over her shoulder, she caught us watching her and made a face, then walked to the other end of the store.

“What do you think, Rita?” I asked, twirling in the mirror. “Am I crazy to feel anything about Jimmy? Not that I do. I mean… I don’t know how I feel. Not exactly. Except that when I look at myself in this dress, there’s a part of me that wants to buy it and wear it for him. Be pretty for him. And another part that wants to put it on just so he can tear it off me.”

Holy shit, where did that come from?

Rita’s eyes met mine in the mirror, identical expressions of shock on our faces. My skin flushed red against the white dress.

“I said that out loud, didn’t I?”

“Yes, you did.”

“Girl code, Rita. Girl. Code. But you know what? I’m not even embarrassed.”

Turned on? Yes. Embarrassed? Not so much.

“I’m alive. I’m here. And I want to live. That means everything, you know? All the experiences I’ve missed out on.” I lowered my voice confidentially. “I’m talking about sex, here, Rita.”

“Yeah, I got that.”

“A girl has needs.”