A Five-Minute Life

Thea on all fours, her necklace swinging between us and her breasts pushing out of her bra from under her shirt. Her tongue on my mouth.

This is going to get me arrested. I’m going to take her right here in the restaurant.

She climbed back into her seat, and I took a long pull of the cold soda when I really needed an icy shower to cool my blood.

It seemed so easy; to have her. To be with her. But having something this perfect and good didn’t happen to me. Like being dirt-poor for years and suddenly having a bucket of gold dumped in my lap. I didn’t know what to do with it all.

You’re going to fuck it up, is what you’re going to do, Doris offered.

I paid the bill while Thea used the restroom. I came out into the sticky heat to find she’d slipped past me and was now leaning against the truck.

“Only a few hours left to go,” I said. “Should be in Manhattan at dusk.”

“And then what?” she said. “I wish you would tell me what you’re thinking. After you kissed me yesterday morning, I thought…” She shook her head. “Never mind.”

She pushed herself off the driver’s door and walked around to her side.

I climbed in on my side and started the truck. I said nothing but let Thea be upset with me. Getting her to New York City was the priority. Everything else could wait.

Thea put her music back on, humming along or singing while I drove us across Pennsylvania. She napped for the last few hours and woke as the sun was sinking in a cloudy gray sky. We hit the Lincoln Tunnel and went north for ten blocks, to Midtown Manhattan in crawling traffic.

Thea craned out the windows, taking in the sights, her smile stunning in its happiness.

“Oh my God, there it is,” she said, jostling my arm and pointing. “The Empire State Building.”

“You want to go there now?”

“No, I’m going to save that for last.” She grinned. “It’s getting dark. I want to see Times Square.”

Of course, she does. All that light and color.

I found a parking spot a few blocks away. The air felt heavy with rain—a summer storm looming. We walked with the crowds of tourists in humidity that felt different from the green heat of the South. New York smelled like heated metal and concrete. Hot dogs and falafel. Garbage and perfume. Thea inhaled it with the same exhilaration she had on our walks on the Blue Ridge grounds.

We stood at the corner of Broadway and Seventh Avenue and I understood Thea’s need to be here. New York teemed with life in a way I’d never experienced. People strode past, arguing, laughing, talking into their phones in different languages. Hawking wares, swearing, or meandering like tourists, taking photos of the glowing billboards surrounding us on all sides.

For a small-town kid like me, it was a lot to take, but Thea stood in the center of that bustling sidewalk, her eyes drinking it all in, the color and light playing over her face. Her smile was radiant, and I wished Delia could see how happy her sister was at this moment.

Thea glanced up at me, her smile never wavering, only softening.

“Isn’t it amazing?”

I nodded. She turned her gaze back to the lights, but I just watched her; drank her in because she was all the light and color I could ever want.

She must’ve felt my eyes on her; she turned to me again, delicate brows furrowed.

“What is it?” she asked. “Tell me everything. Even if it’s hard.”

“Nothing good lasts,” I said. “That’s been a truth of my life. Being with you? Here? It’s too fucking good.”

“Nothing ever lasts, good or bad,” she said, her eyes alit with a thousand different colors. “That’s why we have to live as much as we can, as hard as we can, every moment.”

Every fucking moment.

My arms slipped around her waist and I pulled her close. Her hands slid up my chest and clasped behind my neck.

“Are you going to kiss me now?” she asked. “Please say yes. I’m saying yes, Jimmy.”

Because I’m a choice she’s making.