Forever Right Now

“Why not?”

She shoved the paper back into her pocket. “I’ve only been here a few days. I have a great place, a job. I’m not sure what I’m doing yet. I sort of came here to start over again.”

“Why? Are you on the run from the law?”

It was a joke, but Darlene’s eyes flared and she looked away.

“No, nothing like that,” she said quickly. Her smile looked forced. “I kind of like how no one knows me here. It’s like the proverbial blank slate and I can write whatever I want on it.”

I nodded, at a loss. The conversation had taken a turn for the personal and that was forbidden territory. I didn’t have the time to dive deep into anyone; I was barely keeping my head above water as it was. I was heavy and anchored down, dragging myself through the days until one year was up and Olivia was safely all mine. The exhaustion was like a suit of armor, but Darlene…She seemed weightless—as if she wore combat boots to keep her from floating away. She smiled constantly, laughed easily, and she swept into my life at a grocery store like it were nothing.

She’s the exact opposite of me in every way.

A short silence fell, that lasted all of three seconds.

“Anyway, tonight, I’m your chef,” Darlene said.

“You don’t have to…”

She stopped and planted her hands on her hips. “I’ve seen Law and Order. Are we going to, what’s the word? Where you argue over the same thing a second time?”

“Relitigate.”

“Yes, that. Are we going to relitigate dinner tonight?”

“I’m just not used to—”

“Overruled, Sawyer the Lawyer,” she said. “I’m going to make dinner and you’re going to let me or I’m going to tell Elena on you.”

“Jesus, you’re a pain in the ass, you know that?”

Darlene grinned. “That’s just another way of saying persistent.”

I rolled my eyes and bent to check on Olivia. She was still happily munching on the little biscuit and babbling. She grinned over a mouthful of mush at me. I grinned back.

Holy hell, I love that face.

I straightened to see Darlene watching me, her eyes soft, and I realized I was still smiling like a moron. I reverted back to neutral, took the stroller handle and started pushing.

“You’re so sweet with her,” Darlene said. “How long has it been just the two of you?”

“Ten months,” I said. My jaw stiffened. I never talked about Molly if I could help it. I had an irrational fear that even saying her name would call her back from wherever she was, to try to take Olivia away from me.

My shoulders hunched in anticipation of the next questions; more personal questions that I hated. But Darlene must’ve gotten the memo since she didn’t say anything else about it.

At the Victorian, I carried the stroller with Olivia in it up the three steps while Darlene unlocked the front door. In the foyer, she glanced at the flight of stairs leading up with a frown.

“Do you carry the baby and the stroller up a whole flight of stairs?” she asked.

“No, I take Olivia up, then come back for it.” I shot her a dry look. “Hence, the-not-buying-a crap-ton-of-stuff to carry.”

“Such a man.” Darlene sighed. “I’ll help. Stroller or baby?”

I hesitated. The stroller was heavier and bulkier but the alternative was Darlene carried Olivia. I scrubbed my chin.

Darlene gave me a tilted smile. “I won’t break her, I promise. Or I can take the stroller,” she added quickly. “Whatever you’re comfortable with.”

“Oh, now you’re concerned about what I’m comfortable with?” I asked with laugh. “That’s a first.”