Forever Right Now

“That’s just it. I don’t know. You never finished your sentence.”

I thought back to that night, that moment. “Oh, yeah.”

“You remember, right? Your mega-mind has it?”

“Yeah, I have it but I’m not sure you want to hear it.”

“Try me.”

“Well, I was going to say you’re like a human tornado.”

“Oh,” Darlene said. Her face fell, the light in her eyes dimmed slightly. “I’m like a twisty windstorm that destroys everything I touch?”

“No, not at all.” I rubbed the back of my neck. “I didn’t say it then because I thought you’d take it as an insult. And saying it now, it sounds like an insult. But it’s actually—”

“A compliment?”

Her light was back and she was standing so close to me.

“Yes. I meant, you’re like this whirling ball of energy that sweeps people up so they…can’t help getting caught up in you.”

“Oh,” she breathed. “They can’t?”

I can’t.

I was leaning over her, my shoulder against the doorjamb, and she was right there, her breath on my chin and her eyes so blue with light and life.

Darlene is full of the life Judge Miller wants. I’m the machine that has to keep going and going until there’s nothing left of me.

I straightened and smiled faintly. “Thanks for taking good care of Olivia, Darlene.”

Darlene’s smile was brilliant and her words, seemingly innocuous, hit me right in the chest and sank in.

“Thank you, Sawyer, for the lovely compliment.”

Darlene

I went back to my little place with a smile on my face that made my cheeks hurt, and a warmth in my chest that wouldn’t quit. Max’s text said he wanted to grab dinner before the NA meeting tonight, so I jumped in the shower. After, I did my makeup in the mirror.

Can’t help getting caught up in you.

My cheeks turned pink without blush, and my eyes looked bluer than I’d ever seen them.

I pointed my mascara wand at my reflection. “Stop right there. You are doing great at this responsibility stuff. Don’t mess it up now.”

But visions of Sawyer Haas looking devastatingly handsome in his suit, tangled with those of him looking deliciously sexy in his pajamas. And his compliment, like a song stuck in my head, played over and over, except I didn’t want it to stop.

It was only going to get harder to mind my own business, I thought, as I put on my usual smoky eyeshadow. My attraction to Sawyer was bad enough, but his little girl was an angel too. Watching her smile and hearing her talk or build block towers or even eat her ‘cheece’ were like special little gifts, the kind of mini-joys you never knew you wanted in your life until you had them.

My reflection’s smile slipped.

Back off, girl. He’s got too much going on and you…

“I’m working on me.”

Another tiny thought whispered that maybe part of who I was here in SF might have something to do with Sawyer and Olivia, but I bottled it up quick.

I grabbed my old gray sweater and headed out.