Forever Right Now

“And is your name listed as the father?”

“No, it is not,” I said slowly. “There is no name there. It’s blank.”

Holloway nodded. “I presume you have taken a paternity test?”

I glanced at Jackson. He nodded his head. Once.

“Yes. A few days after Molly left Olivia with me. She’s my daughter. And I’m not saying another word until you tell me what you want.”

Holloway opened his mouth to speak, but Alice put her hand on his arm.

“Wait, please. This is not going at all as I’d hoped. Perhaps it was a mistake to bring our attorneys into this so quickly.” She looked to me. “Can we see her? We’d like to see her.” Her voiced teetered on the edge of breaking. “Our daughter is gone. Our only daughter. All we have left of her is Olivia. We’d like to spend some time with her and maybe…get to know each other better. And you, but in a warmer setting.”

She looked to Jackson when my hard stare shut her out. “Is this possible?”

“Let me confer with my client.”

Jackson ushered me onto the sidewalk outside.

“You’re not making

a great impression.”

I gritted my teeth. “Jackson…”

“I know. We’ll deal with that later. For now, let them see Olivia. Do what she said; get to know them. They don’t seem like bad people.” He cocked his head. “Don’t you want a family for Olivia?”

“Yeah, I do, but on my terms,” I said. I took my friend’s arm and gripped it tight. “She stays with me, Jax. You do whatever you feel is right. If they want to come see her, fine. But I want full custody. I’m keeping full custody. They can visit, they can have a weekend, maybe a week in the summer, but they’re not taking her from me.”

Jackson’s expression showed no trace of his usual cheerful self. He gripped my shoulder and met my eyes with an unwavering, intense stare.

“I’ll do my best, Sawyer, but it might not be up to us,” he said. “And you know it.”

The Abbotts took the sedan, and Jackson and I took an Uber back to the Victorian. Four o’clock on a Wednesday. Where was Darlene, I wondered as I climbed out of the car. Rehearsal? I would’ve given my right arm to see her smile just then. Her smile that made all the bad shit in the world seem far away.

But I fucked up. The thought of her with someone else hurt more than I was prepared for. Instead of talking to her, I renamed that pain jealousy, and shut down. Walked away.

Maybe I’ve lost her too.

I gave myself a shake.

Get a grip, you haven’t lost Olivia. This isn’t over. It hasn’t even started.

But unlocking the front door of the Vic for the Abbotts and their lawyer felt like inviting the dragon straight into the damn castle.

“This is quite a lovely old house,” Alice said in the entry. “I just love San Francisco architecture.”

“Are you not from this area?” Jackson asked.

“Huntington Beach, in southern California.”

The night Molly and I hooked up in Vegas whispered in my memory; Molly in a pale dress in the dimly lit bar. I’m from So Cal, originally. My folks are still there in their huge, white bread mega mansion…

“Jackson can take you to my place,” I said, my voice wooden in my ears. “I’ll get Olivia from her sitter and bring her up.”

I waited until they were upstairs, then knocked on Elena’s door.

“You’re early today,” she said with a smile. It faded at once. “But you’re so pale, my dear. Is everything okay?”