Forever Right Now

He fought for more words but found none.

“Just kiss me,” I said, and he did.

And in that kiss, I felt his emotions he still hadn’t found the words for, but knew that he would. We had time now, and the freedom to be happy. His heart that he had kept locked away for so long was mine. He gave it to me in every soft look, and touch, and in the trust he placed in me to care for his little girl.

And in return, I gave him my entire self; I didn’t know how to give less. I loved him with all of me, even the tarnished parts that would always bear the bruises of my past.

“I love you, Sawyer.” I stroked his cheek. “Always. I won’t ever stop loving you.”

“I love you,” he whispered. “I love you, Darlene. God, I love you. I don’t want to stop saying it. I can’t say it enough.”

His eyes were dark and beautiful in the dimness, and I loved how I look reflected there. And it was real, his love; not something my lonely heart had manufactured to hold on to, and I knew I’d feel this way, like I did in that moment, forever.

Sawyer

Again and again, I had her.

We spent the night making love, ravenous like wild animals, and everything in between. We stopped to catch our breath; I brought us water, we talked a little and laughed a lot, but inevitably, the gentle touches of Darlene’s hand in my hair, or mine gliding down the softness of her skin would make us greedy. Like a flare sparking to life, we’d fall back in a sweaty tangle of arms and legs, grasping at skin, her nails raking down my back, my mouth kissing her everywhere. I couldn’t get enough of touching her body or listening to her come undone beneath me, over and over again. It was a celebration of our victories that lasted long into the night, and finally ceased when dawn’s first light filtered in through the window.

And, miracle of miracles, Olivia slept through the whole thing.

As we lay in the drowsy silence of the morning, my body heavy and spent, I heard Olivia make a little sound in her sleep, through the baby monitor, but she didn’t wake.

“She usually wakes up at least once per night,” I said. “This is a first. Not to mention,” I added with a grin, “you were loud as hell. We probably woke up Elena’s kids.”

Darlene swatted my arm. She lay curled against me, her leg slung over my hip and her booted foot resting on my thigh.

“That’s all your fault, not mine.” She nestled closer to me. “You told me you thought Olivia woke up because she was afraid she was alone,” she said after a moment. Her fingers trailed over my chest. “Maybe she senses the tension has been lifted and she gets to stay where she belongs. And with whom she belongs.”

“Maybe so,” I said. “But there’s still a little tension. One last hurdle.”

“Your meeting with Judge Miller?”

I nodded. “Monday. I have not written a word of that essay he wants.”

Darlene propped her chin on my chest. “Are you worried?”

“I should be, but I don’t know. So much has happened, I feel like what I need to say to him will come to me.”

“It will,” Darlene said. “I know it will.”

“Well, it had better get here quick. It only has two days.”

The baby monitor lit up with Olivia stirring.

“She’s so cute when she wakes up,” Darlene said.

“I’ll get her.”

Darlene pushed me back. “Let me.”

She drew on her underwear and found one of my dress shirts on the floor. It came down to her thighs, and made her legs look like they went on forever. Her hair was tousled—my hands had b

een buried in it all night—and her lips were swollen from my kisses.

“God, you’re sexy,” I murmured as she buttoned up the shirt, leaving the top three undone.

She grinned. “You’re only saying that because we just had sex for six hours straight.”