“Slow,” he said. “We go slow. And we stop at any time. I don’t care when or what we’re doing—”
“Same goes for you,” I said, my gaze holding his intently, my jumping nerves calming. “Any time. No matter what.”
Holden sighed. “Your kindness is sexy, River, and I’ve never…” He shook his head. “Never mind.”
He’s never been treated the way he deserves to be treated. Never asked for it for himself.
We kissed until the low-burning flame that had been simmering flared to life. I planted kisses down his warm skin, moving lower and lower, then taking the hard length of him in my mouth. I sucked him deep and pumped with one hand until he shook his head, gasping.
“Wait, wait. Not yet. I want you inside me when I come.”
Oh Christ…
A full-body shiver wracked me, like a meteor flaring and then fading out, taking the last of my nervousness with it. I’d never let myself wonder what it would be like to be with a guy. Now that the moment had come, I realized I was right where I was supposed to be. With Holden.
He reached into his nightstand drawer for a condom and a small bottle of lube. I took them from him and lay over him, our chests sealed, hearts pounding, our hips grinding and our mouths sharing each other’s air.
I braced myself on one arm, still kissing him. Always kissing him. With my other hand, I opened the bottle and dripped lube over Holden’s erect cock. I stroked him slowly, coating my fingers at the same time.
“Prudent,” Holden said and then hissed a breath as I moved my fingers lower, to his entrance. “Ah fuck, River…”
He clutched my shoulders, digging painfully, as I slowly worked one finger inside him, breaching the tight ring of muscle.
“Christ, how do you make it feel like that?” he breathed.
“Is it okay?”
He nodded quickly, his neck taut. “It’s so good. It’s never been this good.”
I kissed him hard, a surge of emotion rushing through me. I wasn’t the first here, but goddamn, I wanted to be the one that he remembered. My first and his too.
Christ, he was tight, and my cock swelled at the thought of being there with that impossible pressure around me. Just the idea had me on the verge of coming. I concentrated on him, always him, as I added a second finger to join the first. Holden’s chest constricted against mine and his kiss turned biting, almost hard enough to draw blood.
Vampire…
I smiled and worked my fingers gently inside him, pressing that bundle of nerve-endings. Holden arched his back under me, sucking in a breath.
“Oh fuck… Fuck, yes…”
I pressed the spot again and again, and watched the reaction in Holden, reveling in it. How his abs contracted, how his beautiful face became a grimace of pained pleasure. I could have done nothing else all night, but Holden shook his head.
“No more,” he panted. “Now… I need you now.”
He felt for the condom on the bed, tore open the wrapper, and reached between us to roll it down over me. Then he lay back on the pillow and swallowed hard, his green eyes bright and glassy.
“River…” he breathed.
I nodded, my own breath trapped in my throat. I used more lube, coating my cock. But holy God, I was too big. I started to use my fingers again, but Holden brushed them away.
“Is it enough?” I asked.
“It’s enough,” he said. “Fuck me, River and it’ll be okay, I promise. God, more than okay.”
I braced myself over him again as he hitched his knees up, his eyes intent on mine, trust and something deeper in their green depths. Something I was going to fall into if I wasn’t careful.
I gripped my cock, stroking it until it was slick with lube, then aligned myself. Breath held, I pressed in. Slowly. So slowly as he took me into a tightness I could hardly comprehend.
Holden’s breath was coming in harsh, short pants. He lifted his head off the pillow to watch me, his expression a kind of ecstasy I’d never seen him wear. Inch by inch, I eased myself inside him.