“It’s not pathetic. It’s survival. Like you said, you do whatever you can to keep your shit together.”
“What do you do to keep your shit together?”
“I walk.”
“Walk?”
“All over town,” I said, shocking myself by telling her the truth. At least the part that didn’t sound crazy. “I can’t sleep. Bad nightmares. So I walk around until I feel tired enough to hopefully crash out.”
“God, you have nightmares that bad every night? Does it work?”
“Not really. But it’s either that or drink myself stupid.” I shrugged. “Seems like a better alternative. For now.”
We arrived at a small restaurant called Thai Heart. It seemed like Shiloh wanted to ask something else, but I held the door for her, ready to leave all my fucked-up shit outside.
The restaurant was simple but nicer than I was used to. Little knickknacks from Thailand—Buddahs, temples, elephants, and brightly colored strings of beads were displayed in glass cases or hung from the walls. The hostess gave us menus and a table by the window with a view of the street, a
nd a waiter hurried over and took our drink order. Shiloh ordered milk tea. I asked for a beer.
The menu made me feel stupid. I’d never heard of any of the dishes.
Shiloh read my face. “You want some recommendations? Do you like spicy food?”
“I’ve had hot sauce on Mexican food. That’s about it.”
I waited for Shiloh to ask me what rock I’d been living under, but she only smiled.
“Well, there’s hot and then there’s Thai hot. Proceed with caution.”
I imagined kissing Shiloh, my mouth hot with Thai spice and her mouth like sweet milk, soothing the burn…
I cleared my throat and surreptitiously adjusted my crotch under the table.
When the waiter returned, Shiloh ordered something called Panang curry. I ordered Pad Kee Mao.
“Drunkard’s noodles,” the waiter said, smiling. “Excellent.”
“There’s booze in it?”
“No, but it’s very spicy.”
I glanced at Shiloh across from me. Good.
When the waiter left, it was just her and me.
“The moment of truth,” Shiloh said, sipping her tea.
“What is?”
“The waiter is gone. We can’t attack each other, sexually speaking. We’re either going to start talking and hit it off, or…not. The moment of truth.”
“Okay.” I toyed with the chopsticks on my napkin. “You want to know all the pointless, boring shit about me?”
She laughed. “Are you saying you don’t want to know all the pointless, boring shit about me?”
I doubted there was any such thing. “I don’t like small talk.”
“You told me. When we first met. And neither do I.” Shiloh stirred the ice in her drink with her straw. “It’s funny, though. We’re kind of doing it all backward. We’ve talked about heavy shit, we do all the kissing things, but we skipped the basics.”