“He worked hard for you. He’s happy because of you. Thank you for that.”
River smiled, glanced down. “Well, it goes both ways—that happiness. It runs deep.”
Holden sidled over. “The last thing I need is you two palling around together. Next thing I know, you’re BFFs.” He steered River away. “Ronan’s the most dangerous of us all. Knows all my secrets…”
I chuckled and rejoined Shiloh in the chair beside hers. The night’s hours flowed in laughter, music, and food. Holden had us all clutching our sides at some of h
is stories, and then Miller would play, his voice carrying across the night, seeping into our bones.
Shiloh leaned into me, her cheek on my shoulder.
Violet sat with Miller in the sand, tucked into his embrace.
River and Holden did the same—Holden wrapped in River’s arms. He wasn’t sleeping but his eyes were closed, his expression purely content.
“I’m so glad they’re here together,” Shiloh whispered to me. “Now we feel complete. “
“I had the same thought,” I said, except something nagged at me. I watched Miller run his hands over Violet’s belly and knew what it was.
Shiloh felt my eyes on her. “What is it?”
“I want to take you home and put a baby in you.”
Her eyes widened, her face flushing. “I wish you’d say what you really mean,” she teased. “You’re serious? You want…another baby?”
“And this time, I’m going to be there with you every step of the way. From the moment you find out you’re pregnant to the day she’s born.”
“She?”
“Or he. Or them. I can’t go back and be there for all of August’s firsts…”
“No, but you’ll be there for his everything else’s,” Shiloh said.
I nodded. “Like the day he becomes a big brother.”
Her eyes flooded and she leaned over to kiss me; I tasted the salt of her tears and her happiness.
“Okay,” she breathed. “I want that too. I want everything with you, Ronan. Everything this life has to give.” Her smile fell, and I knew her thoughts went to Bibi. “And what it will someday take away.”
“Someday,” I said, brushing the curls off her face. “But not yet.”
She smiled, so goddamn beautiful. “Not yet.”
I pulled her into my lap and held her close until the time came for us to go. Miller and Violet would be heading back to San Francisco where Violet was set to complete her residency and Miller was finishing his next album. Holden had his book tour and was taking River with him. No way to know when we’d all be together again, or at the Shack. It felt like one chapter was closing and another opening for all of us.
We said our goodbyes, hugging and kissing cheeks, the women smiling through tears and reminding each other that San Francisco was only a few hours from Santa Cruz.
“You coming, Wentz?” Miller asked as the last of the coolers and chairs were packed up.
“You guys go ahead. I’ll put out the fire.”
The group filed out and I remained, staring into the flames that were the same as the first time I’d been here. The beach was the same, the same ocean crashing against the shore, the place giving the same sense of belonging like it had all those years ago. Only I was different now. Made better by this place and these friends…
I looked up to see Miller approach, a small, crooked smile on his lips. “Hey.”
“Hey,” I said. My voice was gruff. “Stupid. I can’t fucking put it out.”
He nodded. “I know.”