To Love Again

‘As you see,’ Christi’s voice was brittle, ‘he was very careful!’ She gave a self-derisive

laugh. ‘I never even had a chance with him. Never!’ she repeated disgustedly.

‘He’s a lot older than you

‘Not another one obsessed with age!’ she scorned impatiently.

He quirked dark brows. ‘Lucas has mentioned that too, has he?’ he said slowly.

She sighed irritably. ‘He never ceases reminding me that he’s thirty-seven, and, if not

actually old enough to be my father, at least old enough to be an uncle or much older

brother. I already have an uncle, and I’ve never wanted a brother!’

David’s mouth twisted. ‘I doubt if Lucas particularly wanted a niece or a sister,

either!’

‘Then why relegate me to those roles?’ she derided.

He shrugged. ‘Protection?’

‘From me?’ She nodded dully. ‘Yes,’ she sighed. ‘It was certainly one way of avoiding

any embarrassing declarations of love from me.’

‘That wasn’t quite what I meant

‘Oh, believe me, David,’ she said wearily. ‘I know what I’m talking about.’ She clearly

remembered every humiliating detail of that conversation with Marsha on Friday night.

David whistled through his teeth. ‘That was certainly some argument you and Lucas

had on Saturday night! I gather you haven’t spoken to each other since—no,’ he answered his

own question at her derisive expression. ‘From the shouting I heard through the walls, I would

say the two of you had said enough. What can I say?’ He held up defensive hands as she

raised questioning brows. ‘I was wandering around your kitchen when I realised that, although I

couldn’t hear what was being said, I could definitely hear your raised voices.’

Christi sighed. ‘You’re lucky that’s all you heard,’ she derided. ‘For a brief

moment, after I had told Lucas I intended going to bed with you, I thought he was going to

hit me.’ She could still clearly remember that convulsive spasm in Lucas’s throat, the tightening of

his hands into fists.

David gave a choked laugh. ‘I’m not surprised. What I want to know is, what changed

your mind between his apartment and yours?’ he leered.

His teasing eased her tension, and she found herself returning his smile. ‘I hope you

don’t mind my using you in that way,’ she said apologetically. ‘I was just so angry...’

‘What man could possibly mind being thought worthy of taking a beautiful woman like

you to bed?’ He squeezed her hand reassuringly.

‘Lucas, to name but one,’ she returned drily. ‘Oh, why does he have to enter into the

conversation all the time?’ she said exasperatedly. ‘I’m sure you didn’t meet me today to talk

about him!’ she added self-disgustedly.

‘Well, actually...’

Christi looked sharply at David, frowning at his rueful expression. ‘But I told you on Saturday

that Lucas doesn’t care for me the way I care for him. There’s nothing else to say.’

He gave a gentle smile. ‘I told you then, and I’ll tell you again now, you don’t have to tell

me a thing about you and Lucas

‘Because there’s nothing to tell!’ she bit out dully.

‘I wanted to talk to you about Lucas,’ he reproved softly.

Christi’s frown deepened. ‘I thought the two of your were merely acquaintances?’

David shrugged. ‘I think we can actually be classed as casual friends. Our business

dealings mean we often meet up, and we seem to go to a lot of the same parties.’

‘Probably know a lot of the same women,’ she sighed.

His mouth quirked. ‘Probably. Although not in the same way,’ he added softly.

Christi blushed, giving a self-disgusted sigh. ‘I’m sorry.’ She shook her head. ‘I’m not

normally like this,’ she excused lamely. ‘I’m just so angry with Lucas still that But you

wanted to tell me something about Lucas,’ she encouraged briskly.

David instantly sobered. ‘Well, as I said, we go to a lot of the same parties, know a lot of

the same people. One of those people is Marsha, his ex-wife,’ he added softly.

Christi tensed, drawing a sharp breath into her lungs. ‘Oh, yes?’ she returned casually,

so casually it was obviously a forced reaction.

He grinned. ‘And when I say "know", I don’t mean biblically,’ he derided.

She put her hand on his in silent apology for her earlier remark. ‘I realise that,’ she said

softly. ‘Not that Marsha isn’t a beautiful woman ‘I realise that, too,’ she interrupted sharply.

David eyed her speculatively. ‘Did you also know that the ex-Mrs Kingsley is thinking of

marrying again?’

All the colour drained from Christi’s cheeks, her eyes wide and haunted. ‘Who?’ she

managed to ask in a hushed voice.

But she didn’t really need to ask, Lucas was the man Marsha had been seeing all week.

God, did Lucas know of the other woman’s plans for him? Did he know, and just not care

what the other woman had done to him in the past, considered forgiving and forgetting

worth having his children back once more? Or—more painful yet—was it possible Lucas did

still love the woman who had once been his wife?

‘His name is Julian Holland,’ David put in softly.

Christi blinked at him dazedly, still lost in thoughts of Lucas remarried to the

sensually kittenish Marsha; it made her feel ill!

‘The man Marsha is contemplating marrying,’ David told her more clearly, ‘his name

is Julian Holland. He’s something important in the diplomatic service,’ he added drily.

‘Marsha obviously fancies herself as a diplomat’s wife.’

Christi stared at him in bewilderment. But it was Lucas Marsha had been seeing all week,

Lucas she had claimed was her lover. Claimed ... Oh, God, she hadn’t fallen for the oldest

trick in the book, had she, her own insecurity where Lucas was concerned making her a prime

target for his ex-wife?

‘What is it?’ David prompted anxiously at her pained groan. ‘Do you know him?’ he

frowned.

‘No—but I’m suddenly knowing Marsha a lot better than I would ever have wished to,’

she choked disgustedly. ‘Oh, my God,’ she breathed slowly, a look of horror on her face. ‘If

Marsha marries this man, that means he will effectively become Daisy and Robin’s father.’

‘Not legally,’ David sighed. ‘But in every other way that matters, their day-to-day lives,

yes,’ he acknowledged heavily.

No wonder Lucas had been drinking on Tuesday night, if Marsha had just told him she

intended giving their children a stepfather in the near future! God knew, the woman made it

as awkward as possible for Lucas to see his children now, but once she was remarried...

‘This must be kil ing Lucas,’ Christi choked, tears in her eyes. ‘Eating him up alive!’

David nodded slowly. ‘It must be hell for any man put in that position.’

Lucas must be going through hell already, and all she had done the last week was

make life even more difficult for him, forcing herself on him, unwittingly taking advantage of his

disturbed state, and then telling him to stay out of her life.

Her own hurt feelings no longer seemed important, just as it no longer mattered

that Lucas had always known of her love for him. What was important was Lucas himself. And at

the moment he was very much in need of a friend, of the friendship he had never once

denied her.

She looked at David with tear-wet eyes. ‘I’ve been very stupid and selfish, haven’t I?’ she said

self- disgustedly. ‘Acting just like that child I keep claiming not to be.’ She shook her head

dejectedly. ‘And now I’m doing it again,’ she said self-reproachfully, straightening

determinedly. ‘Lucas has been my strength over the last four years; now it’s my turn to offer

him my support.’

David grinned at her. ‘If it’s any consolation, I’m sure you aren’t a child.’

She gave him a grateful look. ‘Thank you for telling me about Marsha.’ Her voice

hardened as she spoke of the other woman. ‘It explains so many things that have been puzzling

me.’

‘I thought it might,’ he drawled. ‘Marsha always reminds me of an octopus, maintaining

one tentacle around all the parts of her life, past and present. She and Lucas have been

divorced for years, and yet she’s never quite let him go.’ He shook his head disgustedly.

And obviously the other woman had taken great pleasure in putting him through hell during

the last week!

‘Would you mind if I didn’t stay for dessert?’ she told David apologetically. ‘I’m

really not hungry, and I—I

‘Have a friend to go and see,’ he nodded understandingly. ‘I’ll give you a call later in the

week, maybe we can try for lunch again.’

‘I really am sorry, David

‘Don’t be,’ he reassured her lightly. ‘I envy Lucas like hell,’ he said ruefully.

Christi gave a shaky smile, moving to kiss him warmly on the cheek before hurrying from the