“You feel so good, Em. So tight on my cock.”
I feel myself flush from the dirty words he’s speaking to me. I raise my hips up to meet his, trying to match his cadence at each rock into me. I run my hands up and down his muscular back. He groans when I trace my fingernails over his shoulders.
I watch all of his cues and commit them to memory. He likes it when I say his name, when my nails come close to piercing his skin.
I feel silly, but I try to remember all the things porn stars do, the way their bodies move. I want him to be addicted to me. I want to rock his world, take us to the next level. I want him to love me and never leave me.
When I squeeze and clench my walls against him, he growls and drives into me deeper. I lift a leg around his waist, and he puts an arm under my knee to hold it there. “Oh fuck, Em, you were built to take me,” he grunts into my breasts. “Feel me deep inside you, gorgeous girl?”
“Yes,” I cry and arch my back. The way he talks to me turns me on even more. I feel powerful knowing I’m doing this to him, driving him to speak this way. “So good, Cole, you feel so good.”
“You’re so fucking beautiful, Emily. Jesus, look at you,” he lifts up and takes in my heaving chest, my rock-hard nipples and breasts bouncing with each of his thrusts.
I take his head in my hands and bring him down to kiss me, overwhelmed with the sweet words he says to me. My handsome Cole, hard body sliding in and out of me, deep blue eyes watching my skin pebble. This belongs to me. I think I’m the one who is addicted.
My toes curl, and I run them up and down his calf, flexing with each push into me. I’m so overwhelmed with emotion and the pressure building up inside of me. “Cole,” I take his cheek in my palm and look at him.
“Yeah, baby?”
“I love you.”
Deep cerulean pools stare back at me, his eyes darting back and forth between mine. He doesn’t say it back. His body has stilled, I see his Adam’s apple bob from swallowing, but he doesn’t say it back.
Naive girl.
I know then that he’s already made his decision.
He’s going to leave me.
“Don’t stop,” I move my hand to his hip and bury my face in his chest so he can’t see me.
“Em,” he mumbles softly into my neck, the regretful tone of his voice confirming what his eyes already gave away.
“Please, Cole,” I wrap my arms around him and clench my teeth to keep the tears at bay. “Let me have you while I can, then.”
He stays still inside me until my hips moving up and down spur him to continue. He brings a hand between us, and his thumb starts to run over my clit, up and down, then big circles.
I smash my eyes closed and push my head back into the pillow. I focus on the physical feelings and will the thoughts away. I concentrate on how he feels moving in and out of me, the way his rough thumb feels caressing me. I bury the ache in my heart.
My calf muscles tighten, and I feel a spasm in my core begin to quake. “Cole,” I pant and thrash my head from side to side.
“Em,” he whispers just above me.
I keep my eyes closed and fixate on the feeling of him deep inside me. If I angle my hips a certain way, he hits the spot inside of me that makes my body jerk and tense up.
“Please look at me, Em.” I can feel his body stiffen. His muscles lock up, and the sweat on his body mixes with mine. I know he’s close, and that pushes me past the point of no return.
I’m afraid to look into his eyes, but I want to watch him come inside me. A freight train hits me as my orgasm takes over. I force my eyes open as I clench down on him.
Behind his dark lashes, his pupils expand and search mine. Then his whole body stiffens, and a roar comes from deep within him, “Fuck!”
I shudder and tremble against him as tremors run through me, and he rocks against my pelvis a few more times until he’s empty and heaving and panting.
I wrap my arms against his shoulders and pull him down on me, moving one hand into his damp hair to cradle his head against my chest. I don’t dare move because when I do, this moment will be gone.
We will never be the same.
We’re both silent as our breathing returns to normal. There are no words left to be spoken.