Unintended

I hung up my jacket, took off my shoes, and crept to the kitchen to make some coffee. Sounded like a stupid thing to drink before going to sleep, but I’d always done it, and it had never stopped me drifting off. I needed to relax before getting into bed, and so I took my drink into the living room and sat on the bean bag, where I spent most of my time. I’d fallen asleep there more times than I could remember.

I’d sat in the exact same position when I’d got home from Exeter, doing the same thing I was doing now. Trying to work out what the hell was wrong with me. And whether I’d made the right choice about talking to Evie.

She was so damn kind. I couldn’t believe I’d asked her to come to my workplace, or that she came. Why would she? We’d met twice. I wasn’t important to her. She probably felt sorry for me or something. That was the last thing I wanted from anyone. Pity. I’d got myself into this mess, and I deserved everything I got.

But I thought Evie was a bit different. Something about the way she looked at me told me that she might understand.

You selfish twat. You could have asked her about her. Instead, you let her ask all the questions. She probably thinks you’re a self-centred idiot.

Once the thought appeared, I wasn’t sure I could let it go. Maybe I should ask her… something?

I pulled out my phone and went to Twitter. It was my go-to app lately. She would probably be asleep by now, but I still wanted to try.

Thank you for coming tonight. I wanted to ask though…did you go through something like this too?

I sent the message before I could talk myself out of it. Besides, I wanted to know. Whatever it was that had happened to her, maybe I could listen. It was the least I could do since she’d put herself out for me.

As expected, there was no answer, so I exited the app, turned off my phone, and put it on the table.

“Hey.”

I stiffened at the sound of Natalie’s voice. There was no way I could have woken her. I’d done everything the same way as always.

I turned my head to see what mood she was in, and I was surprised to see her smiling sleepily as she walked towards me. She was wearing one of my t-shirts, and it hung around her loosely.

“You okay?” I asked as she sat down beside me. I shuffled over on the beanbag so she had some more room and she reste

d her head on my shoulder. Her hair was soft against my face, and it smelled like lemons. I loved her when she was like this. When she was the way she used to be.

“Couldn’t sleep,” she said, and I put my arm around her. Maybe we’d sit and talk for a while, fall asleep like this.

Maybe she’d give me something to make me remember how things were before.

She turned towards me slightly. “How was work?”

Dread hit me instantly.

She knows. She knows I saw Evie.

She must have felt my heartbeat speeding up as she looked at me curiously. I quickly told my brain I was wrong. If she knew, this was not how she would have greeted me.

“It was fine,” I told her. “Same as always. How about you? How was your evening?”

“Boring.” She yawned. “I talked to Skye on the phone for a while and then watched Netflix.”

“Sounds better than work.”

“Yeah. I wished you were here.”

This is her. This is my Natalie.

When she smiled then leaned in to kiss me, everything she’d done before disappeared. She snuggled into me for a moment then turned over a bit more, putting her leg over me, straddling me. Her eyes softened when they met mine and I placed my hands on her back as she kissed me again. She moved her hands down my chest towards the waistband of my trousers. As she opened the button and slid the zip down, I slipped my hands underneath her t-shirt and touched the soft skin on her back. My fingers reached the clip of her bra but she leaned back, like she didn’t want me to take it off and my hands automatically moved back down. She shuffled back far enough to pull down my trousers and boxers, then stood up and took off her knickers. She sank down onto me fast, and I held onto her hips as she moved up and down on me, kissing me hard.

Even though she controlled the pace, she was showing me she still wanted me, and I needed it. Needed her to let me know she still wanted me around. That she still cared. My dick twitched inside her; she felt so good, and I knew from the sound of her breathing that she was close to the edge. It was only a minute later that she let out that cry I loved to hear from her and she sank down against my chest as I came inside her with a deep, shuddering breath.

I wrapped my arms around her, trying to hold onto the moment, but as soon as my hands touched her, she backed off and stood up.

“Enjoy your coffee,” she said, before going back to our room.