Unintended

“Will do,” she said with another smile.

Once the tea was made, Evie led the way to her living room, and it was pretty much what I expected. Soft blues on the walls, a slightly different shade of blue for the furniture and a warm cream carpet. The TV cabinet was made from the same kind of wood that made the kitchen cupboards, and it was also neat and tidy. Cosy.

Evie immediately sat down in the chair I assumed was her favourite, at the side of the room by another closed door; I wasn’t sure where that one led. Beside her was a large bookshelf, completely full of only books. When I lived with my mum, her bookshelf held some books, but mostly DVDs and CDs.

Perching on the edge of the sofa, cup in hand, I chuckled. “Hey, you have a PS4.”

It sat on the floor in front of the TV unit, and there was a small pile of games stacked up beside it.

“I do.” She smiled. “I don’t get much time to play, but I like to when I get the chance.”

My eyebrows rose as I read over the titles. I was expecting more girly type games, and I was surprised when I spotted the latest Grand Theft Auto game, Red Dead Redemption II, and World War Z, amongst others.

“Surprised?” she asked, and I looked over at her and nodded.

She gave me a small grin. “I’m not always predictable.”

“No, I never thought you were,” I said quickly, and she laughed again.

“It’s fine,” she said, taking a sip of her tea. “I was predictable. I am, most of the time.”

Her eyes dimmed a little, and I said, “I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t do anything. It was just me, thinking about things.” She shook her head and gestured in the direction of the PlayStation. “Jay used to play when I met him. He had a couple of consoles. He tried to get me to play and I always declined, but one day, I gave in. Kicked his ass at Mario Kart and then moved on to the hard stuff.”

“I haven’t played much in a while, but I will happily play you if you get some time.” I gave her what felt like my first smile of the day. And if anyone deserved that smile, it was Evie.

“I’m up for that. I have other games, definitely some two player stuff, and I’m not working again until around January fifth.”

She stretched her legs out in front of her, leaning her head back against the top of the chair as if she was relishing the idea of more time off. I liked how relaxed she was in her own surroundings.

Maybe she was right. As much as I hated the idea of encroaching on her space, being there, in her house, was much better than being in one room in a B&B. I’d have someone to talk to, more room to move about, a garden. I hadn’t had a garden to sit in for years, other than beer gardens when I was a uni student. That seemed like so long ago.

“You wanna play now?” she asked, looking over at me. “We have literally nothing else planned, and today has been stressful. I say we play for a while, and order a takeaway later because I have no desire to cook right now.”

I studied her, and I was sure there was amusement on my face. For someone who suffered with anxiety and stress, she was one of the most chilled out people I’d ever met when she was comfortable. It helped, because even though I’d relaxed a bit, I was still tense. I could feel it in all of my muscles. With Evie being so calm, and not making me staying there into a big deal, I was sure it would calm me down too.

“I could do with the distraction,” I said, sitting up and resting my cup on the table beside me. Then I looked over at her again. “Bring it on!”

As I lay on my bed, watching some TV show I wasn’t paying attention to on my laptop, I thought about the day.

I hadn’t planned on inviting Ash to stay. I mean, I had considered it briefly when Mum had been grilling me about him, but I never thought I’d really do it. It wasn’t because I didn’t know him that well; I’d bought him underwear, the ship of considering him almost a stranger had well and truly sailed. It was more that I wasn’t used to having someone else in my space. I’d lived alone for two years, and while it had taken a lot of getting used to, I had got used to it. I liked having a place that was just mine, where I could work, or laze around in my pyjamas if I felt like it. Nobody to tell me I had to wash the dishes, or do the ironing. Nobody expecting food on the table in time for them finishing work. I had my own schedule and I liked it that way.

Having Ash to stay, though, wasn’t the same as living with a partner. In fact, so far, it was like having a best friend over. A somewhat broken and healing best friend, but I’d caught more than one glimpse of a smile as we played video games, and there had even been some laughing as he’d beaten me a few times. While I knew those smiles were genuine, I also knew they would be short-lived. Everything Ash was doing was just to keep his mind off the painful stuff, both memories and injuries. But it was good to see him smile all the same.

If I was honest, I’d been doing the same thing too. Trying to do things to forget the constant presence of Jay. Since telling him I didn’t want to see him, he hadn’t called or text again, but I knew he was close and it put me on edge. The house I lived in wasn’t the same one I’d shared with him, but I knew he knew where I was. I kept expecting at any minute that the doorbell would ring and I’d be faced with my past; a past I was still recovering from. I’d be glad when New Year came and I knew he’d be gone again.

Unless he was planning to move back now he’d split with Julia.

Shit. That hadn’t occurred to me before. God, if he came back to live locally, I’d have to consider moving. The last thing I wanted was to be afraid every time I left my house that I’d bump into him. To the person all of my worst memories were connected to. It wasn’t that I viewed him in a negative light. He’d probably cheated on me, but I’d pushed him away. And that’s not a good reason to cheat—there’s never good reason for that, but our relationship was already well on its way out. It was just the fear of feeling the ache from what we used to have. It was low level inside me every day of my life. Having him nearby would only make it stronger.

A soft knock on my door interrupted my thoughts, and I said, “Come in.”

Ash opened the door a crack and peered inside.

“Sorry,” he said, glancing at my open laptop with Netflix playing. “I’ll go.”

“No. It’s okay.” I hit pause and closed the laptop lid, placing it on the bed. “What’s up?”