Unintended

When Keely had explained how he’d made a mistake thinking the photos were from Natalie and not me, the only person I was angry at was myself. Did I think I was in a fucking movie or something? That kind of cutesy stuff only happened on the big screen, and I was stupid for not signing my name on the note, or just giving him the box myself.

I’d caused this, not him.

This was all on me, and I couldn’t even tell him I was sorry because he’d either turned off his phone or blocked my number.

It left me feeling lost. I needed to apologise for messing everything up, and tell him I didn’t blame him for anything, but if he refused to answer the phone, was there any point in trying to see him? I could go to his flat, but somehow, I felt as if he wouldn’t answer the door.

Was this actually over before it began?

“Evie, are you ready to go home?”

Jay’s voice broke into my thoughts as he stood in the doorway to my hospital room.

He’d driven down as soon as he found out I was in hospital and stayed with his parents overnight. He offered to be the one to take me home as the doctors said they would do another ultrasound before I left, just to be certain everything was okay, and he wanted to be there.

It was an amazing moment. Just as stressful as the first scan I’d been to with Keely and Ash, but when we heard the strong heartbeats and saw our babies on the monitor, it was just… there are no words, and I was glad Jay was there, to see and hear them for the first time for himself.

He’d been an unexpected support. I’d expected him to want to kick Ash’s arse because, from the outside, without full knowledge of the entire situation, I could see how Jay might have held him responsible. But Keely had explained everything Natalie had done to Ash during their relationship, while I’d been frantically trying to call him, and when Jay eventually took my phone away from me so we could talk, he said he understood and didn’t blame him either.

The only person really to blame was Natalie when it came down to it. The police had visited me the evening before, and it was Sergeant Wright and Constable Matthews, so they were already familiar with most of the story. They let me know Ash had reported the incident, asked me for a statement, and said that Natalie had already been arrested for breaking the rules of her probation.

Good. At least she wouldn’t be able to get to Ash again. I’d been safe w

hile in hospital, but Ash hadn’t.

The pain in my chest twinged as I thought of him, and Jay gave me an understanding smile. “Still no luck reaching him?”

I shook my head. “Although, his phone was turned on when I called first thing. But when I tried again, it was off.”

At least I knew he hadn’t blocked me, but he clearly didn’t want to talk to me either.

“I’m sorry,” Jay said as he walked into the room. “Do you think he’ll come around?”

“I don’t know.” I pulled myself up from the bed, needing a distraction to stop myself crying again. “I think maybe this was all too much, you know? It really hasn’t been that long since Natalie attacked him, and before that he was with her for a couple of years. Years of her putting him down and beating him up. Maybe he’s realised he doesn’t need another complicated woman in his life.”

I squeezed my eyes closed, the weight of everything that had gone so wrong starting to crush me again. How was it possible to miss someone so much when he wasn’t even mine and it had only been two days? But I felt like he was a part of me now. I’d had him in my life pretty much every day since Christmas Eve, and without him, an emptiness had settled inside me. I wasn’t sure how to fill it, and I had the horrible feeling nobody else would ever fit there anyway. That space he’d carved out in my heart was his alone. An Ash-shaped gap that would remain hollow forever.

“You’re not complicated, Evie.” Jay walked towards me and took one of my hands. I looked up at him, the tears I’d wanted to banish filling my eyes. “I get that he’s been through a lot, but you’re not a complication. And if he thinks you are then he’s an idiot.”

He’s not an idiot. He’s in pain, just like me.

Unable to muster up any words, I picked up my bag that Keely had brought over for me the night before.

“Do you have a jacket?” Jay asked. “It’s raining pretty hard outside.”

Of course it is. The perfect weather to match my mood. When I got home, at least I could take my laptop to my window seat and work from there, listening to the sound of the rain, maybe wrapped up in a blanket. It wasn’t cold, but I wanted the extra comfort. Wanted to feel secure and snug. Jay said he would stay with me for a while, in case I needed anything. Really, I wanted to be alone, but I appreciated his concern, and he had come a long way.

“I don’t have a jacket,” I said. “We might have to make a run for it.”

Giving me a small smile, Jay nodded and put his arm around me, leading me out the door.

The drive to my house was silent, apart from the radio playing quietly in the background. I just watched the rain on the window, car headlights glistening on the raindrops, giving some light to the dark day.

As we neared my street, Jay said, “Is there anything you need to pick up? We can stop at the shop if you want?”

I shook my head. “I think I’m good for everything. I mean, I could devour an entire bar of Galaxy, but I’d probably better not.”

Jay chuckled. “Some things never change.”