If I Need You (If You Come Back To Me 5)

“Oh, God, Ryan, I know you know the truth. I know you know the real reason I’m here. I can’t stand it anymore. You’re the only one who knew how badly Jesse and I had been fighting before we got that emergency call about Langley’s plane going down in the Kunar. You’re the only one who knows the truth. I killed Jesse and the others.”

Ryan ground his teeth together as she shook with misery. Here it was. Melanie had been piloting the chopper that had gone down on the rescue mission. He exhaled, wishing like hell Melanie had chosen another time and another place to have her little mental breakdown.

Still...she was a soldier in arms and more importantly, another pilot. What she was experiencing right now was every pilot’s worst nightmare. He couldn’t help but feel compassion for her.

“You didn’t kill Jesse or anyone. It was an accident, pure and simple. You were down low, on the lookout for Langley, and the chopper hit a power line. You know as well as I do other choppers have run into similar problems with those low lines. They’re a menace.”

“But if Jesse and I hadn’t been arguing before, maybe I would have been less distracted and more alert. Maybe—”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Ryan repeated, tightening his hold on her upper arms. She was near hysteria. Her guilt must have been building up in her for a while now. “I know a pilot feels total responsibility for their passengers and mission, but that’s not the same as saying that you killed someone. It was an accident. Those wires are uncharted and damn near invisible outside of twenty feet. There was nothing you could have done,” he said, shaking her slightly, trying to break through her misery.

“I loved him,” Melanie said in a strained, vibrating voice. “I know you don’t believe I’m capable of it, but I am. I miss him so much.” She collapsed against him. Ryan gripped her tighter, trying to keep her from falling.

“Melanie,” Ryan pleaded.

“I have never, ever loved like this. It hurts so much,” she said against his chest, her hands grasping at his shoulders desperately.

Ryan opened his mouth, wildly searching for something to say that would bring both comfort and closure to this awkward situation. He glanced over Melanie’s head and froze.

Faith stood at the entryway to the living room, holding a sack of groceries, her green eyes huge, wearing an expression he’d seen before on shell-shocked soldiers.

* * *

Faith was so stunned she didn’t at first know how to interpret what she was seeing. Ryan held a tall, willowy blonde against him. The image of the woman’s red-tipped fingernails clutching at the dense muscle of his naked shoulders was scored on her consciousness, as was Ryan’s returned tight hold on her upper arms.

“I have never, ever loved like this. It hurts so much,” she heard the woman moan as if through a barrier of thick cotton. Her fingers clutched tighter at Ryan.

“Faith.”

She looked up into his face. It looked rigid with tension. The woman whipped her head around. Her face was wet with tears.

“I...this is Melanie,” Ryan said in gruff tone. “Melanie Shane.”

“Hello,” Faith said hollowly. She hardly knew what she was saying. She hardly knew what she was doing as she set down the grocery bag on a nearby table. A strange noise had started up in her ears, like a fierce wind blowing.

“Excuse me.”

“Faith,” Ryan’s voice came from just behind her a few seconds later as she walked toward her car. “That wasn’t...it wasn’t what it might have looked like. Let me explain.”

“So that’s Melanie?” Faith asked as she opened her car door. Ryan caught it. They stood in the driveway, separated by the door.

“Yes. She shouldn’t have come here. I’m sorry. I’ve been telling her not to, but she’s upset. She wanted to talk to me about—”

“You weren’t being entirely honest when you said some men would find her attractive. She’s very pretty. You shouldn’t leave her standing in there alone, Ryan,” she said flatly before she got in the car.

“Dammit, Faith—” He lifted his hands to try and reach for her and she swung the door closed. Hard. He whipped his hands out of the opening just before the door would have banged forcefully into his fingers. Faith started up the car and put it into Reverse. He thumped his hand on the window as it began to move away from him. “Faith, come back here. You’re jumping to the wrong conclusion,” he boomed.

But Faith could hardly hear him. Her heart was beating like she’d just narrowly escaped the monster trap of a lifetime.

She blinked fifteen minutes later when she saw the sign welcoming her to Harbor Town’s city limits. She’d driven blindly, unaware of any goal or destination.

Or had her numb brain perhaps chosen this route purposefully, to remind her of all she’d been about to put on the line...all she’d been about to sacrifice by exposing her soul and taking a chance on the future with Ryan?

She pulled into the parking lot of White Sands Beach. She’d chosen the location randomly, seeing its entrance from Travertine Road. It had suddenly struck her that she should pull over. She felt ill. She shouldn’t be driving. It wasn’t safe.

She just sat there behind the wheel of the car for the better part of an hour, staring at the sparkling lake in the distance, waiting for her brain to stop vibrating in shock.

What the hell had just happened?