Finally all the obstacles were out of the way and he cornered
his wife in their room. She glanced up as he shut the door, leaning against it as he zeroed in on the woman sitting on the bed.
“That went well,” she commented, her gaze cutting away from his. “Your grandfather seems like he’s in good spirits after his diagnosis.”
“I don’t want to talk about that.” He loved his grandfather, but they’d talked about his illness at length before Jonas had left the States, and he was satisfied he knew everything necessary about Jung-Su’s health. Jonas’s wife, on the other hand, needed to do a whole lot more talking and he needed a whole lot more understanding. “Why did you tell my grandfather that you’re in love with me?”
“It just kind of...came out,” she said. “But don’t worry, I’m pretty sure he bought it.”
“I bought it,” he bit out. “It wasn’t just something you said. You meant it. How long have you been in love with me?”
She shrugged. “It’s not a big deal.”
“It is a big deal!” Frustrated with the lack of headway, he crossed the room and stopped short of lifting her face so he could read for himself what she was feeling. But he didn’t touch her, because he wanted her to own up to what was really going on inside. For once. “That’s why you married me. Why you came to Korea. Why you’re still here even though I told you about the pact.”
That’s when she met his gaze, steady and true. “Yes.”
Something wonderful and beautiful and strong burst through his heart. It all made a lot more sense now. What he’d been calling friendship was something else entirely.
Now would be a really good time to sit down. So he did. “Why didn’t you tell me? That’s information that I should have had a long time ago.”
“No, Jonas, it’s not.” She jammed her hands on her hips. “What does it change? Nothing. You’re determined to keep your vow to your friends and I can’t stop being in love with you. So we’re both stuck.”
Yes. Stuck. He’d been between a rock and a hard place for an eternity because he couldn’t stop being in love with her either.
He’d tried. He’d pretended that he wasn’t, called it friendship, pushed her away, stayed away himself, thrown his honor down between them. But none of it had worked because he’d been falling for her since the first cupcake.
Maybe it was time to try something else.
“Viv.” He stood and waited until he had her full attention. But then when she locked gazes with him, her expressive eyes held a world of possibilities. Not pain. Not destruction. None of the things that he’d tried to guard against.
That was the reason she should leave. Instead of feeling stuck, she should divorce him simply because he was a moron. The character she’d spoken of to his grandfather didn’t include being courageous. He was a coward, refusing to acknowledge that avoiding love hadn’t saved him any heartache. In fact, it had caused him a lot more than he’d credited. Had caused Viv a lot, too.
Worse, he’d avoided the wonderful parts, and ensured that he’d be lonely to boot. And what had he robbed himself of thus far? Lots of sex with his wife, a chance to have a real marriage and many, many moments where she looked at him like she was looking at him right now. As if he really was worthy of her devotion, despite his stupidity.
He’d had plenty of pain already. Avoiding the truth hadn’t stopped that. The lesson here? No more pretending.
“Tell me,” he commanded. “No more hiding how you really feel. I want to hear it from you, no holds barred.”
“Why are you doing this?” Another tear slipped down her face and she brushed it away before he could, which seemed to be a common theme. She had things inside that she didn’t trust him with and he didn’t blame her.
“Because we haven’t been honest with each other. In fact, I’d say my behavior thus far in our marriage hasn’t been anything close to honorable, and it’s time to end that. You know what? I should go first then.” He captured her hand and held it between his. “Viv. You’re my friend, my lover, my wife, my everything. When I made a vow to never fall in love, it was from a place of ignorance. Because I thought love was a bad thing. Something to be avoided. You taught me differently. And I ignored the fact that I took vows with you. Vows that totally overshadow the promise I made to Warren and Hendrix before I fully understood what I was agreeing to give up. I’m not okay with that anymore. Not okay with pretending. What I’m trying to say, and not doing a very good job at, is that I love you, too.”
Like magic, all of his fear vanished simply by virtue of saying it out loud. At last, he could breathe. The clearest sense of happiness radiated from somewhere deep inside and he truly couldn’t fathom why it had taken him so long to get to this place.
Viv eyed him suspiciously instead of falling into his waiting arms. “What?”
He laughed but it didn’t change her expression. “I love you. I wouldn’t blame you if you needed to hear it a hundred more times to believe me.”
Her lips quirked. “I was actually questioning the part where you said you weren’t doing a good job explaining. Because it seemed pretty adequate to me.”
That seemed like as good an invitation as any to sweep her into his arms. In a tangle, they fell back against the mattress, and before he could blink, she was kissing him, her mouth shaping his with demanding little pulls, as if she wanted everything inside him. He didn’t mind. It all belonged to her anyway.
Just as he finally got his hands under her dress, nearly groaning at the hot expanse of skin that he couldn’t wait to taste, she broke the kiss and rolled him under her.
That totally worked for him. But she didn’t dive back in like his body screamed for her to. Instead, she let him drown in her warm brown eyes as she smiled. “What’s going to happen when we get home and you have to explain to Warren and Hendrix that you broke your word to them?”
“Nothing. Because that’s not what I’m going to say.” He smoothed back a lock of her hair that had fallen into her face, and shifted until her body fell into the grooves of his perfectly. This position was his new favorite. “We made that pact because we didn’t want to lose each other. Our friendship isn’t threatened because I finally figured out that I’m in love with you. I’ll help them realize that.”