ZAHIR waited for Angele to take the words back, or at the very least, enumerate these said conditions. But she simply stared off into space, breathing shallowly.
“This is unexpected,” he said finally when it became apparent she had nothing else to add.
In fact, he was so stunned his usually facile brain had the speed of cold honey in processing her immediate capitulation.
“Disappointed?”
Oddly he was. And not a little bit wary as well.
“I am aware you love me,” he said, feeling his way in a blind negotiation he had not expected in any form at this stage. “I still believed your pride too wounded to make our reconciliation an easy one.”
She laughed humorlessly. “You believe I’m agreeing to marry you because I love you?”
“Why else?” The prospect she had suddenly decided to submit to duty was not the comfortable thought it should be.
“We didn’t use condoms that night.”
His brow wrinkled as he tried to catch her point. “So?”
“So.” She rolled her eyes and waved at her stomach as if that was answer enough.
His brain had no trouble catching up this time and the implication stole all the air from his lungs.
“Surely you were on the pill, or some other form of birth control. You planned the night well ahead of time.” He’d been certain of that during their night together and even more convinced after seeing her letters to the kings and polished press release she’d left behind.
“Yes, I planned it. No, I didn’t go on the pill as part of my preparations.” Self-loathing laced her voice. “I should have…I realize that now.”
“Why the hell not?” he demanded, his voice raised in a way he never allowed.
“I don’t know. It wasn’t rational. I know that, but I thought…one night. I was a virgin, disgustingly naive. I wouldn’t get pregnant.” She frowned. “I thought you’d use condoms.”
He ignored the last statement and concentrated on the ones that came before it. “You are too smart for that.”
She glared at him and then seemed to deflate. “Yes, I am. There’s no excuse. I really just thought…I don’t know. I’ve tried to understand why I didn’t say anything when you didn’t use a condom, but my excuses are feeble and stupid. Even to me.”
“You expected me to use condoms?” He couldn’t dismiss the claim a second time.
Her brow furrowed as if she didn’t understand his question. “Well, yes.”
“Why?”
“Why not? We weren’t lovers. For all intents and purposes, what we had was a one-night stand.”
“What we had was a premature wedding night,” he practically shouted and then took a deep breath in shock at himself.
She waved her hand in dismissal, apparently unmoved by his loss of cool. “Call it what you like, but I expected you to use condoms and when you didn’t… Well, that first time, I was just so lost to the moment and afterward, I thought the damage was already done.”
“Damage is right.”
That brought the glare back, but there was something else in her expression, something he couldn’t quite name. “What is your problem? You’re getting your way.”
“You think this is me getting my way? My first child has been conceived without the benefit of a wedding ceremony. I have spent my entire life protecting my family from scandal and now it will visit itself on my child. He or she will forever carry the stigma.”
“Please. This isn’t the Middle Ages.”
“If this child is my heir, his throne could be called into question.” He cursed, using more than one language and feeling like that still was not enough to express his fury at the current development.
“Do a DNA test.”