‘A new house?’
‘With a garden.’
&nbs
p; ‘Oh.’
‘And a pool.’
She nodded, not trusting herself to speak.
He pulled out the visitors’ chair and sat down opposite her, looking far too big for the tiny structure. ‘Don’t you want to know why?’ he asked carefully.
Lexi took a deep breath. ‘If you want to tell me.’
‘I’m keeping Ty.’ His words were quiet and sure, his eyes shining. Then he shook his head. ‘That makes him sound like a pet. What I meant to say was that I have agreed to take full custody of Ty and Amanda has agreed to see him during the holiday periods.’
Lexi swallowed and contained the surge in her heart with some difficulty. ‘So …’ she cleared her throat ‘… I need to amend his forms.’
‘Damn it, Lexi, I don’t give a stuff about Ty’s forms.’ He rose and stood in front of her as if he wasn’t sure what to do next and then he paced to the back of the room. ‘Bohze, I’m making a hash of this.’
‘Making a hash of what?’
He frowned. ‘Of telling you how I feel. It’s because I’ve never done it before.’
Lexi was pleased he wanted to tell her how he felt about Ty, but really she would have felt less pain stretched out on a rack of ten-inch nails with rats gnawing on her stomach.
‘Leo, I couldn’t be happier for you and Ty but—’
‘I’m not here because of Ty. I’m here because of us.’
Lexi watched him warily. ‘You made it pretty clear last week that there was no us.’
‘I said a lot of stupid things that morning. Most of them, as you rightly pointed out, because I couldn’t let go of the past. I’m sorry I hurt you. In my defence, I was feeling a little unhinged that morning.’
‘Because your mother called?’
‘Because my mother called. Because our lovemaking the night before had been so damned beautiful.’ He paused, watching her as if trying to gauge her reaction to his words. ‘For years I buried myself in work and refused to face Sasha’s death because I was afraid to let emotion in. Only you made it impossible for me not to feel. Not to care. But the truth is angel …’ his voice cracked ‘.the truth is that I love you.’
‘You love me!’
‘Not just love you. I adore you. I fell in love with you the minute I saw you and—’ he grimaced ‘—I’ve been running—’ He stopped. Stared at her. ‘You took off your necklace.’
Lexi reflexively touched the place her necklace had hung for too many years, her mind still spinning from Leo’s passionate declaration. ‘It was time.’
‘No; I ruined that for you.’ His voice was soft, remorseful. ‘I’m sorry.’
Lexi shook her head. ‘Please don’t apologise. I had some growing up to do where my father was concerned. For years I refused to face that he wasn’t coming back, idealising him as much as my mother had, but I was living in the past. When I was younger I wore the necklace to keep a connection with him, but over the years it had become a habit. And I guess, as you said, I never wanted to admit that he chose his other family over us.’
Leo obviously heard the catch in her voice because he rounded her desk and pulled her out of her chair and into the warmth of his embrace. Lexi sank against him like a stone, her nostrils flaring as she drank in his familiar male scent. God, she had missed this. Missed him.
His hands ran over her back soothingly.
‘Angel, he was a weak man. Like my father. They could never accept responsibility for their actions. I was like that for a time but you pointed out to me that life is a choice. We may have been given a bad start, but if we really want something different we can have it. At least I hope we can.’
She raised her head and dared to hope that maybe his declaration of love before wasn’t just a fantasy she had conjured from thin air. ‘What do you mean?’
He shook his head and moved back to perch on her desk, taking a deep breath. ‘I need to touch you but …’ he folded his arms tightly across his chest ‘… first I need you to know that, even though you refuse to see what I have inside of me, I nearly killed a man once.’