Finding Faith (Return of the Dragons)

“I’m finished,” she replied softly after a few minutes went by.

Throat still tight with awe and emotion, he nodded, turning and walking to the back of his truck. Still not speaking, he lowered the tailgate and gestured for her to join him. Once she was standing next to him, he took her hand and gazed deeply into her eyes.

He wanted to speak, but he couldn’t find his words. Something was happening inside him, something he didn’t understand at all. But whatever it was, he was on board with it. With all of it.

With Olivia.

Mine, a voice whispered through him. She’s mine. Mate.

Stunned, he froze, not breathing. Was that… had that been his gorilla? His animal hadn’t spoken to him in thirteen years, but he still recognized his voice.

And had he said mate? Olivia was his mate?

How was that possible? Gorilla-vampire hybrids didn’t have mates. It was something they lost during the fusion.

Or was it?

Fuck. He didn’t know what to think, but he knew he sure as hell wasn’t arguing with his animal’s declaration. Because that was what she felt like to him.

His mate.

Olivia’s slender fingers gently squeezed his hand, pulling him from his thoughts. “Are you okay? You went pale for a moment there. Was my dragon too much for you?”

Swallowing hard, he shook his head as he tightened his fingers on hers. “Not at all. It wasn’t something I ever expected to see in this lifetime, but your dragon is beautiful. I was just surprised a moment ago because my gorilla spoke to me.”

Her eyebrows lifted. “Your animal doesn’t talk? Mine does, incessantly sometimes. She’s a snarky, sarcastic bitch most of the time. Is that a hybrid thing? Your animals lost the ability to speak to you when the vampire gene was added?”

Helping her up onto the tailgate, he hoisted himself up beside her, still in shock—that his animal spoke, and what he had to say when he finally chose to.

“No, our animals talk to us. It’s just… There was so much that happened when my parents died. So much grief and tragedy, and my animal stopped talking to me in the midst of it all. I’ve always thought maybe he blamed me for not doing more, but I think a large part of it is that it was all too much for him. Everything that happened… like he couldn’t handle it, and he lost his voice in the process.”

“I’ve heard that tragedy can change our animals,” she replied softly, her eyes gentle as they rested on him. “What happened? I mean, if you can’t talk about it, that’s fine. But I’m ready and willing to listen if you want to.”

“I do.” Stopping to clear his throat when his words came out rough, he took a moment to get a handle on his emotions before continuing. “First, I guess, is you have to understand that we did lose some things with the fusion. Or at least, I always thought we did. When the hybrids came into existence, none of them found a mate. Ever.

“Mates can be rare, and some shifters never find theirs, that’s true. But after decades of none of us finding mates, we assumed it was something we lost. And this was a time of confusing transition for my people. They didn’t know who they were. So, they chose the gorilla side, and stuck to it. In the wild, Silverbacks have multiple mates. And my ancestors followed that. Each Silverback had three or five women, give or take, that were his.”

Olivia recoiled at that bit of his history, her lips curling with what he thought was disgust. “Silverbacks never stayed true to one woman? They just took as many as they desired?”

“Trust me, I know how abhorrent that sounds. But it was the only way they knew. They were clinging to the more dominant side of their heritage, hoping it would make them less torn between the two sides. Until my dad.

“He never wanted more than one woman. He hated the idea of it, and he fought Pops for years over it. But Pops told him he was weak, that he wasn’t a true Silverback. Told him if he didn’t follow the rules, he wasn’t fit to lead our people. And my dad caved, even though he hated it.”

Pausing, he inhaled deeply. That part was hard to tell, but it was all stuff he knew secondhand. This next part was what he had personal experience with, and it was going to be the hardest to get out.

Like she knew how rough this was, like she felt his pain, Olivia reached over and took his hand, threading their fingers together. Giving her a smile, he squeezed her hand in thanks, took another breath, and carried on.

“He met my mom and fell madly in love with her. He didn’t want anyone else, but he also thought he had to follow the rules. And it didn’t help that Pops rode his ass about it. My mom was a gorilla, too—she’d grown up with the knowledge of how the troop worked. So even though she loved him madly and didn’t want to share him, she agreed to follow the system our ancestors put into place.

“She gave birth to me just three months before another woman my dad brought in gave birth to my brother. From what I understand, the change in her started then. I can understand that. Because I can’t imagine what she went through. My dad brought in one more woman at my grandfather’s instance, and eight years later, Lindsey was born.”

He heard Olivia’s swift intake of air and saw the shock and sympathy in her moss green eyes. “So Lindsey and your brother are your half siblings?”

“They are,” he replied with a nod. “My mom tried, but she was never able to give my dad any other kids. And she had to live with his other women, with Axel and Lindsey, in her home every day. There was no way for her to pretend my dad was monogamous. She knew he truly only loved and wanted her, and I think that’s what kept her going for so long, but the truth slowly ate away at her.

“And when I was fifteen, she killed herself.” Pausing, he swallowed hard, fighting down his emotions and memories of that day. “I was the one who found her. She loved my dad so much, and she just couldn’t handle the fact that she wasn’t the only one for him anymore. She knew no other way of life, knew of nowhere else to go, knew even if she did, she?

?d never be allowed to take me with her. So, she did the only thing she knew to do that would end her torment.”